Family Tech Blog

Category: Tips

  • Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    I spend most days trying to help parents make and implement an internet safety plan. Too often I run into hurdles that I have to jump over in order to help them out. Here are five of the most common mistakes that get in the way of parents’ internet safety strategy.

    1. Secrecy

    Parents of older kids want to give their kids freedom on their devices but keep an eye on them at the same time. I’m often asked how to do that without the kids knowing mom and dad are watching. My answer is usually, “don’t do that.” The goal is building trust and a better understanding of responsible technology use and internet accountability. Sneaking around and spying on your kid, while it may seem like a good way to see what they’re actually in to, is an even better way to ensure they won’t ever come to you when they need to talk to someone about what they’ve seen or experienced online. Obviously, if they know you’re watching and you approach them about something you didn’t approve of then they’ll know it’s coming and will be ready to have that discussion. If you have to talk with them about something you caught them doing while you were sneaking around they’ll see that as a breach of trust and you’ll find yourself with a much harder road to travel from then on. The best thing about transparency is that your kids are more likely to make better decisions when they know they’ll be held accountable for those decisions. Telling them you’re watching them can lead to better responsibility.

    2. Giving Up

    Setting digital boundaries is not easy. There will be arguments, sneaky kids, tutorial videos, and lots and lots of research. The key is to never give up. Things change fast and it truly is difficult to keep up. You have to find the resources that you trust that can help you stay informed. You should find the people you know can help you set your boundaries up to fit your needs. You have to keep reading up on what’s going on in the digital world your kids live in. If you give up you will get left behind and that means you’re not keeping your children safe.

    3. Sharing Passwords

    As obvious as this may seem, I have to say it. You must resist the temptation to reveal passwords to your kids. What happens is that kids (especially the younger ones) get tired of what they’re doing very quickly. When they are playing a game and you have it set with guided access or something like it that won’t allow them to back out of the app you will have to be the one who has to switch apps for them. Unless you just tell them the password. More convenient? Maybe. Safe? Absolutely not! There is honestly no reason at all to have any kind of boundaries set up if you are easily urged to hand over the passwords to the tools you use to establish those boundaries. Passwords are meant to keep the parental controls within the controls of the parents. Again, seems obvious, but you would be shocked at how many people have to be reminded of this truth.

    4. Not Starting

    The hardest step to take in protected your family online is the first one. Creating your internet safety plan begins with assessing the current situation in your home. That can be overwhelming at best, and extremely discouraging at worst. Some families don’t even know how many devices are in their home or who they all belong to. I worked with a family once that was shocked when their kids kept bringing phones down out of their rooms over and over again. Come to find out, their friends would give them their old phones and they’d use them on wifi when they were grounded from their own. Yes, it is discouraging but it is absolutely necessary. You need to have a plan and you must have conversations with your kids about that plan. You can’t do anything, though, if you never start. Begin today! Email me if you’d like. I will help you get started.

    5. Never Updating Software

    I covered this in a recent post but I have to reiterate because its one of the most common mistakes I see parents make. If your accountability software, filter, or devices are not updated regularly then they aren’t as secure as you’re needing them to be. If you pay monthly for these apps and software then you aren’t getting what you’re paying for, you’re only getting part of it. Updating the software when you see the notification is critical for keeping your internet safety tools in full working order. Filters use updates to load the latest information that lets the filter know what sites should be blocked and what shouldn’t, other apps like accountability software use the updates to keep their “red-flagged sites” lists up to par with what’s out there. If you aren’t updating you are eliminating an entire piece of your digital boundaries puzzle.

    Don’t let yourself fall victim to any of these blunders of internet safety planning. Read all you can on this site and subscribe to our mailing list so you see the latest news. Keep track of internet safety news with other blogs and websites as well. Keep your software updated, talk to your kids about your plan, and for the love of facepalm emojis, get started as soon as you can.

  • You Should Ditch Your Windows Phone, Microsoft Is!

    You Should Ditch Your Windows Phone, Microsoft Is!

    Yesterday marks Window’s Phone’s “end of support” classification with Microsoft which means they will not be updating the phones anymore, not even for security.  While Windows 10 Mobile is still available there aren’t many phones that are compatible with this OS. What does this mean? It means that if you have a Windows phone, it’s time to switch to Android or iPhone. Security is one of the most important reasons to allow your operating system to update, if those updates aren’t available then all of the personal data you put on your phone is at risk. This is a real problem and not only for Windows phone users.

    There is a new operating system coming for Apple and Android towards the end of the year and you shouldn’t use a phone that will not be included in these major updates. Yes, the new features and designs of these operating systems are cool but they aren’t the only reasons you should tap ok when the update notification pops up. These updates protect your personal data from theft, hacking, phishing, and spamming. Updates to your OS are often responses to new security threats that developers have become aware of so while the notification every few months to instal version 1.2.4.3.2 can be obnoxious it’s too important to ignore.

    Here’s a list of some of the devices that WILL BE recieving the new Android OS called Android O:

    • Pixel
    • Pixel XL
    • Nexus 5X
    • Nexus 6P
    • Pixel C
    • Nexus Player
    • Galaxy S8 and S8+
    • HTC U11 (Maybe older devices but it’s still unclear.)
    • Z-Droid
    • Z Play
    • Moto Z
    • Z Play Droid
    • Z Force Droid ( Verizon exclusive in the USA)
    • Z2 (2017)
    • G4
    • G5 Plus
    • Moto G5
    • G4 Plus
    • G4 Play (Not Confirmed)
    • OnePlus3
    • OnePlus3T
    • OnePlus5 (Rumored)

    Rollout dates for Android O differ for every device and there are some devices who’s companies have yet to confirm an Android O rollout at all.

    As for your Apple Device, here’s the list of the phones and tablets that will receive the new iOS 11 update when it’s fully available:

    iPhone

    • iPhone 5s
    • iPhone SE
    • iPhone 6
    • iPhone 6 Plus
    • iPhone 6s
    • iPhone 6s Plus
    • iPhone 7
    • iPhone 7 Plus

    iPad

    • iPad mini 2
    • iPad mini 3
    • iPad mini 4
    • iPad (5th generation)
    • iPad Air
    • iPad Air 2
    • 9.7-inch iPad Pro
    • 12.5-inch iPad Pro
    • 12.9-inch iPad Pro (1st generation)
    • 12.9-inch iPad Pro (2nd generation)

    iPod touch

    • iPod touch (6th generation)

    If your device isn’t going to be updated this fall or early next year it may be time to consider upgrading. While some of the older phones will still get OS updates from time to time it won’t be long before they go the way os Windows Mobile and become more of a risk to use. Yes, I know it can be annoying to get used to a new phone and a new user interface and system but the safety and security is too important to ignore. Just take the leap or, if all else fails, faxing can be a pretty safe way to communicate. I kid because I care.

  • Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    After I do a workshop and unpack the many threats and resources related to internet safety I am met with several different responses. One of the most common is the overwhelmed parent who wants to do something to help their kids be safe but doesn’t know where to start. These are the parents that I try to set up a consultation with to diagnose their internet safety needs. Here are the three questions I ask to help them make a plan and what their answers tell me.

    Question 1: How many devices are in your home?

    First of all I need to know how many phones, tablets, computers, game systems, smart TVs, and such you have floating around your house. I get all kinds of answers to this question and they all require a different approach. The main thing I need to know is who uses what devices and if everyone has their own. If everyone is using their own then something like Circle is a good idea because you can give each family member a profile and assign their devices to their account, thus, applying restrictions to each device depending on who uses it. If there are shared deices in the home it changes things. This requires you to use something like net-nanny or an accountability software like Accountable2You so that you can either have different accounts per device (on computers) or have an overall scan to catch and report any unsavory activity. This allows you to approach each situation and correct what’s allowing inappropriate content to get through. Try taking an inventory of all the electronic devices that are in your home. This will help you have a better understanding of your internet safety needs and what solutions will work best.

    Question 2: What are your devices mostly used for?

    You’ll need different options for devices that are used for research than for entertainment only. If your child likes to wander around on YouTube then you’ll want to set up the safe-search settings and install something that can keep some of the more mature content away from them. If they’re searching Google for school or other projects then you’ll have to be sure your internet filter and accountability software are strong. Smaller children can be protected by settings or apps that lock them out of other apps and browsers while your older kids can be trained by time limits, bed times, and wifi pausing features. The purpose of the device will go a long way to define the settings you’ll need to lock them down in the best, most helpful way.

    Question 3: Who are you protecting?

    The gender, age, and previous behavior of your kids are important for determining how you should protect your kids online. Older kids need to be protected from things they may seek out while younger kids usually happen upon inappropriate content on accident. Girls (often boys as well) should be monitored on social media, boys are especially prone to constant video gaming, and any child who’s been caught doing something unsavory in the past should have more strict boundaries set up for them. Knowing who you’re protecting is just as important as knowing what devices you have and what they’re used for.

    It’s Time to Evaluate!

    So now it’s up to you to start asking yourself these questions. Maybe sit down with your family and discuss the questions together. Talk with them about what healthy boundaries would look like in your home and task some of your older kids with seeking out some internet safety solutions. Work together to find the filters, accountability software, time management apps, and devices that are right for your family. Building this plan as a team will help you find keep the plan in place as you have all contributed to the strategy equally. As always, please send us an email or comment on this post if we can help you with your plan in any way.

  • Post Father’s Day Challenge for All of You Dads

    Post Father’s Day Challenge for All of You Dads

    I had some deep thoughts during Father’s Day yesterday. As always they concerned my work with families and internet safety and so I posted the following status on Facebook. I want to make it available to our blog readers here too. Moms, please share this with the fathers of your children; dads, please be challenged and let me know what steps you’ve taken to protect your kids online.  

    From Facebook on Father’s Day, Sunday, June 18, 2017.

    It’s Father’s Day and I’m thinking about some of the greatest opposition I face in our work to help parents protect their children online. You would think that kids would hate me. I’m the guy that comes in and sets up restrictions on their phones and computers. They’re not the ones giving me the stank eye, though, it’s the dads.

    Too often, the worst critic of my attempt to block pornography from the family computer or phones is the father. “Well, is this going to block dumb stuff?” “Is YouTube going to be useless now?” I am constantly hearing concern that in my attempt to protect their children from cyber bullying, adult content, porn, or sexting I’ll inconvenience dad in some way.

    Please understand that there have been many dads who were totally onboard and even some who have admitted to wanting better accountability for themselves but those dads aren’t the norm. I hear moms who are exasperated, sometimes to tears, because they want to keep their kids safe while dad is calling it “no big deal.” Again, the father too often seems to be more concerned about facing limitations of his own than the digital health and boundaries he’s setting for his family.

    Step up dads. If your kids need accountability then so do you. You should have it installed on your devices first. You should set the filters more strict than necessary and tell your kids that it’s annoying sometimes but it’s worth it because the alternative is something you don’t want to face. I wish I got more emails or calls from dads (I’ve had some) that are desperate to set boundaries for their kids’ internet use. I pray that it will change. Dads, we MUST be the example of the change we want to see. Call me. Let’s get your family a gift this father’s day. The gift of your commitment to higher standards while online.

    If you need help. Let me know EMAIL ME or contact me on Facebook or Instagram. I’d love to give you a hand.

  • New Operating Systems Coming for iPhone and Android

    New Operating Systems Coming for iPhone and Android

    The last few weeks have been loaded with updates from the two major tech brands in the industry. Google’s I/O event was May 17-19th and they had some major announcements including virtual reality, augmented reality, and a brand new operating system for Android, Android O. Apple’s Worldwide Developer’s Conference (WWDC) was this week, June 5-9th, and they’ve made similar announcements including a new version of their smartphone operating system that they’ve branded iOS 11. These two new systems will run the majority of the newer phones and tablets being released so it’s important to understand what each is offering. Here’s a rundown:

    Android O

    Android’s newest system should be made public this Fall. The most significant features are design changes in the Settings Menu and User Interface (UI.) Many of the smaller changes are things users won’t notice such as changes in how the OS will handle security and background operations, as well as channels or categories for notifications. Also, picture-in-picture support, notification badges that will appear on app icons, and better bluetooth support will definitely be features that makes Android O a step up for it’s users.

    iOS 11

    A new dock, multitasking with drag and drop, a files app, and better Apple Pencil support make iOS 11 a major upgrade for iPad. iPhone users will notice more apps in messenger, an app store that looks and works completely differently, and a new and improved Siri, including a new voice. The control center, the lock-screen, notifications screen, maps, Apple Music, and AirPlay are all getting improvements as well. iOS 11 is also slated to release this fall.

    What Parents Should Know

    There haven’t been any announcements on Parental Control improvements for either of these operating systems. When the test version of iOS 11 is released I’ll be giving it a full look-over and writing a review for you. One thing that parents will enjoy from iOS 11 is the ability to turn on an automatic Do Not Disturb while driving. The phone will sense your movement and speed and automatically silence any notifications until you’ve stopped. This will be a good way to keep your older kids safe while they are on the road. As for Android, they recently put out a new Parental Control option for their OS and it’s proving to be a pretty good setup. It’s only available on newer devices, however, and we still don’t know what changes have been made for when Android O is released.

    I always recommend keeping on top of updates when they are made available. Both of these new Operating Systems should be available this fall and you should be sure, if your devices are compatible, that you’re upgrading soon after release.  This isn’t just important to get any of the new features but also because security and privacy updates come with these new systems. The apps you use, including the ones you use for internet safety and monitoring will update to keep up with the latest software and if your devices are behind you’ll start to see holes in your security. Keep your eye on the update section of your settings menu and when it shows that a new version is available you should install immediately. You can also keep checking in to this site as I will keep you informed on the latest releases as well as how they can affect your family.

  • Social Media, Globalization, and Our Kids’ Convictions

    Social Media, Globalization, and Our Kids’ Convictions

    We’ve got “covfeve”, Hillary Clinton speaking about politics at a programming conference, Kathy Griffin vs Donald Trump on Twitter, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk talking about the President’s climate change beliefs, and all other kinds of tech notables using their platform to promote their political and ethical beliefs. There’s no doubt that our kids are growing up being more aware of the polarized political landscape we live in than ever before.

    I remember knowing there was a President when I was a kid. I remember hearing a thing or two about impeachment and adultery but I didn’t care or pay too much attention. I was a preteen and I had more important things to deal with. Mainly video games, girls, and baseball. I don’t remember hearing anything about politics while I was in middle school or high school. I registered to vote when I was 18 and voted for who my family said would be a good choice. Now, the people who run our favorite entertainment companies openly state their disdain or support for our government officials. Protests have hashtags and political videos and memes go viral equally because of people agreeing and disagreeing with them. It’s obvious to our kids now that we are living in a volatile political situation.

    Political opinion is formed by who you grow up listening to. It used to be formed by parents, grandparents, and the culture in your local community. Globalization now allows our kids access to every opinion from any voice they want to hear from. Many times these voices are people mom and dad may not be comfortable with. Declaring whether or not that is a good thing is not the intent of this article. My goal with this article is to give understanding to parents who are confused about why their kids grow up to think differently than they do.

    Your children live in a globally influential world instead of the small section of the country that we grew up in. I grew up in Texas, New Mexico, and Missouri and believed the better part of what I was raised to believe. The global landscape of social media (which is just the state of the internet in our culture) has caused many of those beliefs to shift or even outright be changed. Not just for me but for most in my generation and younger.

    Parents should be aware, whatever your thoughts are on today’s hot political topics, that your voice is most likely not the loudest voice in your children’s lives. The Snapchat Discover page, that YouTube vlogger, Instagram influencers, and even Twitter are telling them whatever message they’re more interested in soaking in. The algorithm’s on these platforms provide them with a steady stream of reinforcement for whatever it is they’ve been tapping or clicking on up to this point. Opinion isn’t being formed by their church, their school, or their family like it used to. It’s formed by anyone and everyone in the entire world. Whatever your thoughts on what your kids should believe or where they should form these beliefs, I just wanted you to know where it’s actually coming from. 

  • Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    One of the most popular questions I get when I do tech safety workshops for parents is “how do I set restrictions for my older teen?” I think the most important thing to remember is that you’re not just setting restrictions, you’re teaching healthy habits. The brain of an adolescent is developing in such a way that your guidance is critical as they navigate these murky digital waters.

    I like the term healthy when it comes to internet use because right and wrong is subjective. Your sixteen year old may believe that it’s ok to watch YouTube videos for five hours on a Saturday afternoon but you can use facts to help him understand that it may not be healthy. Our conversation with our teenagers shouldn’t be about what digital habits are right and wrong but what is healthy. Here are three critical factors to keep in mind while teaching healthy tech habits.

    Relationship

    Boundaries without relationship become rules and rules were made to be broken. Because of your healthy relationship you can help your teenager understand that the rules exist to protect them. You can create a safe place for them to come to when they need guidance on their tech habits, about how they’ve been treated online, or about regrets regarding something they’ve seen or done online.

    As parents we shouldn’t close the door to conversation with instant judgement or constant nagging about the time they spend online. I recommend using digital means to keep track (with their knowledge) of what they do online and only bringing it up when it becomes a consistant problem. Relationship is the most important part of any internet safety strategy.

    Transparency

    Openness and transparency is key, not just on your teen’s part but on your part as well. It is critical that you are transparent with them about your tech habits. They need to understand that you’re trying to get it right as well and that the habits they develop now will affect them as they grow older. The best way for them to learn this is by watching you and hearing about how you’re having to deal with these same issues now. Whether you’re trying to keep them from dangerous content or help them avoid tech addiction, they should understand that you’re trying to protect yourself from those things too. The quickest way to cause your teen or young adult child to stop taking you seriously is for you to not practice what you preach.

    Time Management

    Obviously time management will be critical as your child graduates high school and enters college. Between jobs, studying, and extra activities they’ve probably already had to develop some form of time management skill. The lure and appeal of constantly available video, music, and gaming entertainment can make time management more difficult now than it’s ever been.

    You have to help your teen understand what good time management looks like. Point them towards content on the tech that they enjoy, like YouTube videos, podcasts, or productivity apps and other tools that will help them learn more about healthier time management habits. Encourage them to use these tools alongside some of the entertainment they consume.

    All three of these steps are related to each other and will greatly impact one another. If you don’t have a good relationship with your child that encourages communication, if you aren’t being a good example, and if you aren’t teaching and showing time management skills your kids are going to have a hard time navigating healthy tech habits. Online life is a real part of our world and it’s too important to ignore so utilize these steps and let me know what others you have used that have been successful.

  • Four Blue Whale Challenge FACTS

    Four Blue Whale Challenge FACTS

    There are a lot of misconceptions about the Blue Whale Challenge. Some are calling it the latest threat to our kids while others are saying it’s being blown out of proportion. The short video below unpacks some of the facts that I’ve discovered as I look deeper into this trending topic.

     

    The Facts:

    1. Kids ARE hurting themselves because of this the Blue Whale Challenge
    2. There have been zero (0) confirmed suicides resulting from the Blue Whale Challenge.
    3. Authorities are concerned we are going to turn this into something because of the popularity we’re giving it.
    4. There are steps you can take and you should take them now.

    What Parents Should Know

    There are always reasons to take a trend like this seriously. We, as parents should be vigilant to keep an eye on what our kids are doing online while not allowing the trendiness of a topic like the Blue Whale Challenge cause us to inflate it into even more of an issue. Be wise and take the steps you know to take to keep your kids safe online.

    My Advice:

    1. Know who they talk to online.
    2. Follow them on your social media accounts.
    3. Have their login information for EVERY social media account they have.
    4. Keep an eye out for the signs of depression or other struggles.
    5. Talk to your children openly about the dangers of buying into these trends and communicating with people you don’t know.
  • PODCAST: How Does a Tech Safety Expert Protect His Kids Online?

    PODCAST: How Does a Tech Safety Expert Protect His Kids Online?

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    How does a tech safety expert keep his own kids safe online? Is Instagram accessible without the app? What was in the big Snapchat update? What’s with fidget spinners in the app store?

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  • 5 Apps that are Tech Safety Expert Approved!

    5 Apps that are Tech Safety Expert Approved!

    When I do Digital Boundaries Workshops I begin by sharing all of the dangers of unsupervised internet and mobile device use. I then walk through the best practices for keeping your kids safe in the digital landscape they are navigating. I also, spend a lot of time answering questions. I received a question this week that I hadn’t been asked ever before. “What are some apps that you would recommend for my family.” Huh…I hadn’t thought of that as much. I spend so much time looking at the dangers that are so prevalent online that I often ignore some of the resources that can be fun for families. Here’s a list of five apps that I approve of.

    Social Media

    Instagram

    While I always recommend parents keep to the age restrictions recommended by the terms of agreements on a social media platform (usually 13 plus;) I also know how popular social media is and that your teen is going to want to open an account as soon as you’ll allow them. When you’re ready to give them permission, I recommend you start with Instagram. The first reason is pretty simple. Instagram is easy to monitor. You can easily put your kids’ account(s) on your installation of Instagram and keep close tabs on what they’re doing on it. You can even use that method to be notified when they get a direct message.

    Any social media opens you up for some problems. They say it isn’t great for self image and self esteem and there is always inappropriate content that can be accessed because of the fact the content is posted by users but if you’re going to give in and allow some form of Social Media then Instagram is a better starting point than Snapchat or Twitter. There a a lot of reasons and I’ve written about most of those already.

    Gaming

    Ballz

    This game is super fun and addictive. It’s a pretty basic concept. You swipe back and release to launch a ball to bounce around the game-board and break up blocks. The blocks have numbers on them that show how many times you need to hit the block to make it go away. You collect more “ballz” and launch them all at the same time. (I’ve launched as many as 110 at once.) This becomes extremely satisfying when you fire all of the balls towards the blocks and watch the numbers on them decrease as quickly as the block is hit by each ball. Like I said, while it’s satisfying, it’s also very very addicting.

    This game is approved because, while it has ads, the ones I’ve seen have all been for more games by the same developer. This has kept anything inappropriate from creeping up as a banner ad. I approve because it should be pretty safe and because it is just so darn fun to watch all those little balls bounce around and devastate the the game-board full of blocks.

    Research/Education

    Kiddle

    Kiddle isn’t an app. It’s a website. You can very easily save the site to be an icon on the home screen of your phone and then tell your kids to use it as their search engine. I’ve written quite a bit about Kiddle already, so go read about how the search engine works and let your kids research and learn without fear of coming up on anything nasty or scary.

    Entertaiment

    Amazon Prime and Freetime

    Amazon Prime’s kids profiles are some of the best because the shows are curated by human editors. That means that actual people have looked at the shows and determined that they are actually safe for kids. Freetime is a special way to subscribe to only kids content so that you can be sure that they’re not seeing and adult targeted shows. If you don’t have Freetime you won’t have access to kids profiles but you can still set parental controls so that content above a certain age range won’t be accessible without a pin number. Kids can’t see these shows and movies without the pin but they’ll still be able to see the thumbnail image in their “carousel.”

    YouTube Kids

    YouTube kids is a good option simply because of the popularity of YouTube for our children. Kids love watching all different kinds of content on YouTube and YouTube Kids makes it possible to allow them to watch their favorite channels without potentially finding videos that aren’t appropriate for their age. YouTube Kids separates their content by topics like music, education, and shows so kids can find what they want pretty easily. The only downside to YouTube Kids is that it’s monitored with an algorithm and depends on reports from parents to remove suspicious and inappropriate content. This has caused some concern for parents in the past but if you are going to allow you kids to watch YouTube then YouTube Kids is absolutely a better option.

    That Being Said

    I’m not used to thinking about what apps parents should install but I’m grateful for the question this week to give me the idea for this article. Please remember that all of these apps constantly add new content and features and sometimes that makes them less appropriate for kids. As for right now, though, I give these five apps a green light for your kids’ devices as long as you and they use the apps in the way they’re designed to be used.