Family Tech Blog

Tag: teens

  • The S.A.F.E. Approach to Raising Digital Natives

    The S.A.F.E. Approach to Raising Digital Natives

    The globalization of our world has led to so many benefits for our children. Endless information at their fingertips, education can be more exciting and entertaining, and distant family and friends are only a few screen taps away. With every benefit, however, comes a new challenge. Adult content, cyberbullying, sexting, and access to strangers and predators are changing statistics in our world and not for the better. Physiologists are calling our kids digital natives. They will never know a world that isn’t ruled by the screen, the like button, the selfie, and the Google search. It can seem like such a scary world but there are ways to keep our kids safe. We, as parents, just have to take the initiative to learn and apply a strategy. We at BecauseFamily.org call that strategy S.A.F.E.

    S.A.F.E. stands for Setup, Accountability, Filtering, and Education. It should be an easy way to remember the steps you must take to give your kids access to the technology that can enhance their lives while still setting boundaries that will keep them from the dangers of being always connected to the entire world. Let’s unpack the S.A.F.E. strategy.

    Setup

    The developers of your computer, tablet, and smartphone know that you need some sort of way to keep your kids safe while they use their device. Because of this, almost every device on the market now has some sort of Parental Controls built into the operating system. This means that parents should be able to implement some sort of safety strategy on their devices without spending any money or downloading any extra software.

    There are some exceptions, for instance, Android phones didn’t get built in parental controls until the 7.1 version of the operating system and Windows didn’t get it right until Windows 8. My advice is to find out what operating system your device is running and do a google search for parental controls on that OS. Once you’ve found what’s available, set them up immediately. This will give you, while basic, some protections on the tech that your children use.

    Accountability

    The easiest way to explain the benefit of accountability software is by describing a high-security building. The alarm is set, the doors and windows are closed, locked and break proof. There is even a super high tech laser grid that will set off the alarm if you cross its path. There are still, however, cameras installed. The cameras show you what went on when the rest of the security breaks down. Accountability software is the security camera of your internet safety plan. Accountability software doesn’t block content, it reports inappropriate websites to a pre-determined accountability “partner” through a text or email. This allows you to see what has gone on if something unsavory has been accessed on a computer or other device under your care. When you’ve seen what was found you will be able to have conversations with those you’re holding accountable and take the necessary actions to keep that kind of “breach in security” from happening again.

    Filtering

    Web filters DO block content. The idea is to let the good things in the internet pass through while filtering out the bad. There are three levels of filtering available on most devices. The first is the built in filters, these are usually pretty basic with an on off switch and not much customizability.

    Secondly is the option to purchase and download third party software that will block content. These options usually give you a bit more control and let you set filter levels by age, ratings, or content type and keywords.

    Third, you have your whitelist and blacklist settings. Most built in filters have this option but it takes your filter to the next level. Putting a website link in your black list will make it inaccessible on the device that the filter is set up on. This is useful if a site doesn’t necessarily have adult or dangerous content on it but you don’t want your kid or teen visiting the site. For instance, they watch too much YouTube and got bad grades. You can just blacklist the YouTube website on their devices and watch the studying commence.

    Whitelisting is the opposite. This allows you to either give a free pass to sites that have been blocked previously by your filter or some filters let you set up a browser to only view websites on the whitelist. I use this for my older kids to use my laptop. They only use three or four websites so that’s all that’s on the whitelist. The rest of the internet is completely closed to them. Filters are the initial protection phase of internet safety. It’s your first line of defense and should be the second step you take…the first is education.

    Education

    This phase really has two parts to it: research and conversation. Parents should give time every day to researching some of the latest information pertaining to internet safety. One good way to do this is the tech blog that I write found at safe.BecauseFamily.org. This site has daily tech news, up to date tutorials, and even a podcast recapping the week’s family relevant technology stories. I also recommend doing a regular Google search for a “dangerous app list.” You’ll often find some of the accountability and filtering resources have put together lists to help parents identify misleading or dangerous apps.

    Conversation is the key to this entire plan. If you aren’t transparent with your kids or teens about your plan for internet safety it will not work. I never recommend sneaking around to monitor your kids’ internet activity. In my experience, you’re much better off having them on your team. Discuss healthy tech habits with your kids and let them help you work through your plan and consequences for breaking the boundaries you’ve set up.

    Finally, remember that this plan is fluid. It’s going to work if you put effort into it but things do change. It’s critical that you stay informed on what’s going on in the technology world. When I do workshops to help families with these tech topics the questions are the most relevant and interesting part of the meetings. I recommend looking up our website and shooting us an email if you have any questions. Definitely, keep an eye on our blog at safe.BecauseFamily.org and learn all you can about the digital world your kids are growing up in. It can be hard work and seem overwhelming but there is no task that will bring more positive change.

    Bio

    K. Michael Prince is a husband, father of 4, blogger, speaker, author, and podcaster. He wrote “What’s in Your Pocket? A parents guide to protecting your children online.” and is the lead editor for a family tech blog (safe.BecauseFamily.org.) He is the director of BecauseFamily, a non-profit that works to empower and equip parents to be the first influence in their kids lives and train parents on raising digital natives.

    To learn more about how to host a workshop (in person or skype) at your home, church, or organization, contact us using the info below.

    Email: BecauseFamily@gmail.com

    Or go online to BecauseFamily.org

  • How Your Kids Can Hide Texts

    How Your Kids Can Hide Texts

    One of the major issues facing our teens these days is sexting. Statistics say that one of every ten teenagers admits to having sent naked pictures of themselves to someone. Sometimes our kids use social media to do this. They’ll send photos and inappropriate messages in the private messaging features of these social media platforms. Sometimes, though, your kids just use text messaging to do it. There are several tools out there to allow you to monitor what texts your kids are sending but there are a few ways they can hide their texts, even from the security you’ve set up. Here’s what they’re doing.

    Deleting text history.

    This seems pretty obvious but you’d be surprised how oblivious some parents can be. If there aren’t any text messages in your kids’ messaging app, or if it looks like they’ve only chatted with you, they’ve probably deleted their messages. This doesn’t always mean they’re up to something naughty but it does mean you should be having a conversation with them. Deleting their messages is a bad habit to allow them to get into for a number of reasons. First, it looks like they’re hiding something. They don’t want you to be suspicious of them any more than you want to creep around and spy on them. Secondly, they could be deleting conversations that can come back in the future. It’s not a bad thing to have written (or typed) evidence of these conversations, especially if they’re ever contacted by someone they don’t know. I advise you to encourage your kids not to delete texts. If you’re using a monitoring software that uses the iCloud backup (TeenSafe, mSPY) to monitor their texts then you could be missing what they’ve texted if they deleted them while outside of wifi and before a backup to the cloud. If you have a suspicion that text messages are being deleted then you should disallow the use of texting on their phone. If you can’t disable texting then don’t be afraid to take the phone away for a while. Most of all talk to your kids about the risks associated with keeping their conversations hidden. You should be here to help them and they need to understand that.

    Using Dummy Phone Numbers and Private Texting Apps

    Apps like TextBurner, Anonymous Texting, Buffalo Private Texting, and Smiley Private Texting can easily be used by kids and teens to hide the conversations they’ve been having. Not only do these apps require a pin number to access the text messages but many of them also allow you to set up a new phone number so that you can send and receive texts of calls anonymously. The apps descriptions mention job searches, Craigs List, and dating as some of the main uses for these private texting and dummy phone numbers. They do, however, advise against certain usese of the app and even warn of some of their policies for dealing with those who don’t follow guidelines:

     

    Screenshot from the Anonymous Texting App

     

    Check out this list of private texting apps for iOS.     —      Here’s a list of private texting apps for Android.

    Notice the warning about the age requirement? It says you must be 13 years old. If that’s so then why is the app rated for ages 4+? If you do a scan of all of the apps like this in iOS you’ll find that they’re all rated 4+. If you have your app store settings allowing your kid to download apps rated 9+ or lower or even 4+, they’d be able to download one of these apps, create a private and secret phone number that you don’t even know about and begin texting whoever they’d like. This is why I recommend using Family Link (for android phones OS 7 or higher) and iTunes Family Share to require your child to ask permission to download new apps. If you see any kind of app that says secret or private, or anonymous in the description I’d think twice about allowing them to download it. We have a major issue on our hands of kids sending images and texts that are very adult oriented. You, honestly, can’t keep an eye on every message they send on every app. This is why it’s important to limit which apps they’re allowed to use. It may cause that knockdown, drag out fight you’ve been trying to avoid but it’s better than filing a police report about some stranger who has been sending nasty pictures to your child.

     

  • PODCAST: Is Sarahah Meant for Your Teens?

    PODCAST: Is Sarahah Meant for Your Teens?

    Podcast: Play in new window

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

    Subscribe on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/family-tech-weekly/id1231177225?mt=2 

    Sarahaha is an interesting app and it’s still gaining in popularity. In this episode, Michael and Melinda discuss the appeal of Sarahaha, the meaning of the word, and what we think parents should do about it.

     

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  • Should Your Kids Use Sarahah?

    Should Your Kids Use Sarahah?

    Sarahah is an app that snuck up the charts over the past weeks. It was originally put on the app store in June but is already sitting at number one on the free app charts in iOS. This app allows you to leave anonymous comments about people. The idea is that, since it’s completely anonymous, you can be honest and say what you really think. This can obviously lead to some really encouraging and uplifting posts, maybe it could cause a crush to reveal themselves, but definitely, it will cause mean people to do what mean people do. The risk of bullying on this app is very very high.

    This isn’t the first app of its kind but none have risen in popularity so quickly. “Sarahah” is the Arabic word for honesty, the app’s website describes the goal of the app simply:

    “Sarahah helps you in discovering your strengths and areas for improvement by receiving honest feedback from your employees and your friends in a private manner.”

    Again, the app is very new but development is happening fast (five updates since its June 13th release) and the app promises more features to come. Something like a planet icon on the bottom of the screen seems to hint at a future explore or discover page and they mention on their site that they’re studying an option to allow users to reply to the comments that come through Sarahah. The appeal of the app is obvious, most of us wish we could say whatever we are thinking to someone and there are also those of us that wish we could hear exactly what people think of us all the time. This may be fun or even cathartic for grown adults, but when teens and tweens are in the throes of development, hormones, and emotion, is this app a good idea?

    What Parents Should Know

    My Facebook feed has begun to blow up with Sarahah messages that have been screenshotted and shared. Most of the ones I see are people celebrating a super nice comment they got from someone but I’ve seen a few that were laughing at the commenter who was being a jerk. Those I’ve seen on Sarahah were adults, mostly because I don’t follow many young people on Facebook but there is no doubt, seeing this app climb the charts like it did, that there are younger users too. Parents should be cautioned that this app is rated 17+ for unrestricted web access, profanity, and adult humor. The issue is that since anyone who wants can post whatever they want (it’s called user generated content) it’s next to impossible to ensure there will be no adult content on the app. Secondly, I warn parents, as I did above, about the dangers of bullying through this app. The bully follows our kids around in their pocket and this app gives them the ability to say whatever they want without any way to identify who they are.

    There is already an epidemic of kids feeling like they can say whatever they want online without consequence. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case because the one reading what is written feels real emotions based on what’s been said. The ability to be completely anonymous could cause kids to be even crueler and could even lead to kids who wouldn’t say anything mean to some one actually doing it because they don’t see how they can be identified as the culprit. You can block users who you don’t want to message you anymore but once you’ve done that the damage could already be done.

    My advice is to disallow this app on your kids’ phones. You can do it the old fashion way by looking at their phone yourself and uninstalling that app if you see it. You can also set age restrictions in the app store or parental control/restrictions options on your kids’ devices. This should block Sarahah since it’s rated 17+. As an adult, maybe you enjoy this app, I would advise caution to you too. Not only are you putting yourself out there to be spoken to anonymously by anyone who could say whatever they want but you’re also setting an example for your kids.

  • Internet Safety Training in Your Home

    Internet Safety Training in Your Home

    I approached the mother of a family we have been friends with for a while and asked if she would be willing to host one of our first Digital Boundaries Workshops. She immediately began to tear up and say absolutely yes. I was thrilled but concerned and confused by her tears. She confessed that, while we had discussed setting up internet safety solutions in her home nearly a year earlier, we had never made the scheduling work and she felt horrible. Especially because her son, who was in third grade, had just been caught searching for information on some very adult topics online. A younger child on the school bus had told him what he should search for and curiosity immediately took over. “We need to do something as soon as possible.” she said, “I wish we hadn’t waited, I hope it’s not too late.” We did a workshop for her just a couple weeks later.

    This response is all too common. Our work for families gets far more attention from parents who’ve been through some kind of related struggle than those who want to set up preventative measures to keep their family from such a story becoming their reality. Our children are being called digital natives by psychologists. This is a label that identifies them as a generation that’s so used to technology, it’s like it’s their native tongue. If you’ve spent any time with a young child or teen you’ve probably been impressed with their ability to maneuver digital devices. It’s hard for parents to keep up. It’s even harder if you’re an older parent or a grandparent who feels left behind by the online world. My “Setting Digital Boundaries” living room workshop is an easy way to get some training that will set you on the path towards understanding the digital world your kids are growing up in. Starting next month (August 2017) these workshops will be available both live and through skype.

    What Happens at a Workshop?

    I jokingly tell people that our Setting Digital Boundaries Workshop is like a Mary Kay party. You invite your friends over and serve up some snacks. After everyone has had some time to arrive and say hello we begin the presentation. Instead of selling you make up I’ll be teaching you and your friends how to protect your children online. After updating you on some of the latest dangers and threats available to your kids online I teach you our internet safety plan that I call S.A.F.E. (Setup Accountability Filtering and Education)

     

    Each section of this presentation will be spent unpacking the four keys of our S.A.F.E. plan all the while highlighting some of the best resources you can use to protect your family. Each section ends with a time for questions. The sessions last anywhere from 40 to 60 minutes and afterward, I always stay available to answer more questions and give feedback on some of yours and your friends’ tech safety needs.

    These workshops are so valuable because of how quickly the internet safety atmosphere changes. Our book is helpful for getting you started and teaching you some of the terms that you need to understand to protect your kids online. A book, however, can’t give you step by step help with your internet safety goals. A blog post or YouTube video can’t listen to your specific internet safety needs and diagnose the best plan for protecting your family. That’s what makes Setting Digital Boundaries Workshops so critical.

    Email Us to book a workshop and go to BecauseFamily.org to learn more about what we teach and how you can partner with us financially to help us keep these workshops free.

  • Video Chatting Apps You Should Uninstall NOW

    Video Chatting Apps You Should Uninstall NOW

    Chat Roulette was a challenge that became its own website. The idea was that people could log on to the site and be connected with someone from around the world at random. The website isn’t as popular as it once was but there are many apps that simulate that experience and some of those apps are gaining popularity. Here are some of the ones climbing the app store charts. The ranking listed is for the Social Media category in the iOS App Store as of the publishing date of this article. I’ve only listed the live video or random connection chatting apps in the top fifty.

    Melon #14

    Melon is making the news as the latest video chatting fad. It connects you with new people based on social media friends and offers private messaging, video chat, and a people search feature. It’s gaining popularity and being featured in articles that are blasting it for the frequency of cyberbullying and the high concentration of males looking for girls that will do whatever they ask on camera.

     

    Live.Me #16

    Live.Me touts the ability to chat with stars and celebrities and broadcast to anyone all over the world. You can find anyone from anywhere or just look to see who is broadcasting around you. There is also the ability to search by topic or interest. Live.Me uses “gifts” and “diamonds” to allow you to share things with other users and even advertises the ability to “date” virtually through the app.

     

    Monkey #25

    I’ve written about Monkey before. This app was created by a couple of teens who dropped out of high-school to launch a tech startup. It quickly gained a reputation for having too much nudity and not taking some of the responsibility for the content found in the app. This app has been on the FamilyTechBlog uninstall list for a while now.

     

    MeetMe #35

    Formerly called “MyYearbook,” MeetMe is a app that advertises itself as a way to “meet new people.” The app uses your location to find people near you and information that you’ve entered to connect you with people who share your interests. It’s popular in the app store as it’s been around for quite a while and has the largest fan base. MeetMe offers private chat and video chatting as well as live video broadcasting.

    Climbing the Charts:

    YouNow #52

    Live stream video chat is pretty much all YouNow is about. You can broadcast yourself, find broadcasters, and even join the broadcast as a video guest. The app store listing calls for you to build your fanbase and become a YouNow celebrity. There are some complaints on in the reviews about accounts that have been reported for inappropriate content not being removed because they are popular on YouNow.

     

    CAM #56

    CAM is popular because it allows you to select the gender you’d like to chat with. It automatically connects you with someone and even automatically texts an invite to everyone on your contacts list without your permission. This practice has caused it to dip in the standings but some continue to use the app because they like the ability to chat or flirt with people they are attracted to.

     

    What Parents Should Know

    I don’t usually recommend any of these type of app for your teens or kids. Not only is it dangerous to connect with random people who could be broadcasting whatever they’d like for you to see. It’s also a problem because of the potential for predators. Any connection with strangers is dangerous. Some of these apps use your location to connect you and it’s therefore possible to meet people online that you may meet up with later. My advice is to uninstall any of these apps if you see them on your kids phones or tablets. There is no reason to use one of these apps to connect with friends since you can use Instagram or Facebook Messenger to do that now. Uninstall on sight.

  • Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    I spend most days trying to help parents make and implement an internet safety plan. Too often I run into hurdles that I have to jump over in order to help them out. Here are five of the most common mistakes that get in the way of parents’ internet safety strategy.

    1. Secrecy

    Parents of older kids want to give their kids freedom on their devices but keep an eye on them at the same time. I’m often asked how to do that without the kids knowing mom and dad are watching. My answer is usually, “don’t do that.” The goal is building trust and a better understanding of responsible technology use and internet accountability. Sneaking around and spying on your kid, while it may seem like a good way to see what they’re actually in to, is an even better way to ensure they won’t ever come to you when they need to talk to someone about what they’ve seen or experienced online. Obviously, if they know you’re watching and you approach them about something you didn’t approve of then they’ll know it’s coming and will be ready to have that discussion. If you have to talk with them about something you caught them doing while you were sneaking around they’ll see that as a breach of trust and you’ll find yourself with a much harder road to travel from then on. The best thing about transparency is that your kids are more likely to make better decisions when they know they’ll be held accountable for those decisions. Telling them you’re watching them can lead to better responsibility.

    2. Giving Up

    Setting digital boundaries is not easy. There will be arguments, sneaky kids, tutorial videos, and lots and lots of research. The key is to never give up. Things change fast and it truly is difficult to keep up. You have to find the resources that you trust that can help you stay informed. You should find the people you know can help you set your boundaries up to fit your needs. You have to keep reading up on what’s going on in the digital world your kids live in. If you give up you will get left behind and that means you’re not keeping your children safe.

    3. Sharing Passwords

    As obvious as this may seem, I have to say it. You must resist the temptation to reveal passwords to your kids. What happens is that kids (especially the younger ones) get tired of what they’re doing very quickly. When they are playing a game and you have it set with guided access or something like it that won’t allow them to back out of the app you will have to be the one who has to switch apps for them. Unless you just tell them the password. More convenient? Maybe. Safe? Absolutely not! There is honestly no reason at all to have any kind of boundaries set up if you are easily urged to hand over the passwords to the tools you use to establish those boundaries. Passwords are meant to keep the parental controls within the controls of the parents. Again, seems obvious, but you would be shocked at how many people have to be reminded of this truth.

    4. Not Starting

    The hardest step to take in protected your family online is the first one. Creating your internet safety plan begins with assessing the current situation in your home. That can be overwhelming at best, and extremely discouraging at worst. Some families don’t even know how many devices are in their home or who they all belong to. I worked with a family once that was shocked when their kids kept bringing phones down out of their rooms over and over again. Come to find out, their friends would give them their old phones and they’d use them on wifi when they were grounded from their own. Yes, it is discouraging but it is absolutely necessary. You need to have a plan and you must have conversations with your kids about that plan. You can’t do anything, though, if you never start. Begin today! Email me if you’d like. I will help you get started.

    5. Never Updating Software

    I covered this in a recent post but I have to reiterate because its one of the most common mistakes I see parents make. If your accountability software, filter, or devices are not updated regularly then they aren’t as secure as you’re needing them to be. If you pay monthly for these apps and software then you aren’t getting what you’re paying for, you’re only getting part of it. Updating the software when you see the notification is critical for keeping your internet safety tools in full working order. Filters use updates to load the latest information that lets the filter know what sites should be blocked and what shouldn’t, other apps like accountability software use the updates to keep their “red-flagged sites” lists up to par with what’s out there. If you aren’t updating you are eliminating an entire piece of your digital boundaries puzzle.

    Don’t let yourself fall victim to any of these blunders of internet safety planning. Read all you can on this site and subscribe to our mailing list so you see the latest news. Keep track of internet safety news with other blogs and websites as well. Keep your software updated, talk to your kids about your plan, and for the love of facepalm emojis, get started as soon as you can.

  • Snapchat Update Adds New Effects and Sharable Links

    Snapchat Update Adds New Effects and Sharable Links

    Snapchat’s latest update will give the camera background effects and allow you to change your voice without using one of their filters. The other major feature is the ability to share links and open them within Snapchat’s very own browser. While you can’t type a url into the address bar at the top of the browser you can click around online and end up at any website you’d like. That’s right, that means your kids can now browse the internet within Snapchat. This has always been possible in other social media apps like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook but now Snapchat will allow users to tap right on a picture and open a link without leaving the app.

    What Parents Should Know

    If the Discover Page, disappearing photos, private video chat, and SnapMap isn’t enough to put this on your uninstall list, perhaps the ability to access the entire internet without leaving the app will help you pull the trigger. Yes, this feature is available in other social media apps but when you factor in all of the other features that can be a detriment to your internet safety plan it puts Snapchat at the top of my uninstall list.

  • FB Now Boasts 2 Billion Users, What Does That Mean for Your Family?

    FB Now Boasts 2 Billion Users, What Does That Mean for Your Family?

    Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced today that the social media platform has surpassed 200 billion users every month. The growth has been said to come from a focus on developing countries and regaining lost users. Zuckerberg’s response to this growth was one of excitement and responsibility, he said:

    “We’re making progress connecting the world, and now let’s bring the world closer together.” -Mark Zuckerberg

    Facebook started in 2004 and reached 1 billion users in 2012. The social media is the most used platform with YouTube a distant second with 1.5 billion users every month. What’sApp and FB Messenger both have 1.2 billion but they are also owned by Facebook. The obvious staying power of Facebook is evident in these numbers and their strategy of gaining new users in developing countries and regaining users who had left Facebook is paying off. What do these numbers tell us about the state of Social Media and the Internet? (If they really are two different things.)

    1. Your kids are probably on Facebook.

    The joke has forever been that once parents started using Facebook the kids jumped off. In reality, your kids are most likely using Facebook again. The reason they’ve returned is simple. There is more there to offer. The option to adjust what they see on their timeline and what ads they see are appealing and the AR camera and story feature in Messenger and the Facebook app has come a long way to entice former users to give Facebook another try.

    2. The entire world is available to your kids on Facebook.

    Two billion users is almost a third of the entire world. That means the influence available to your kids is more global than ever. When you add in the other social media services your kids use the globe just gets even smaller. Every idea anyone has or has ever had is available to your children through social media. Every thought anyone has or has ever had on any topic is available to digest and use to develop their own beliefs and thoughts. The influence of the world available on social media has changed the way our kids grow up and what they believe tremendously and the more these services like Facebook grow the more confusing some of these voices can be. There is, of course, a great opportunity to help your kids understand the larger world they live in but you have to help them navigate that world in a healthy way.

    3. Your example of internet citizenship is more important than ever.

    The globalization of our kids’ influences through social media should be a wake up call for parents. We need to understand the responsibility we have to keep our kids protected from the many dangers that are available to them online and to teach them how to be a good citizen of the internet. What do we do when we see something that could be fake or click-bate? Do we fall for the trap? What photos do you share? Are you smart with how you broadcast your location? These are all important safety concepts that our kids have to understand. The best way they’ll learn this wisdom is by watching us implement it ourselves.

    Facebook is proud that they’re the pinnacle of social media greatness. Mark Zuckerberg is emphasizing the responsibility they have to use this influence to bring people together and not tear them apart. Recent news and election cycles have been an example of how social media can cause people to ignore facts and strengthen their own beliefs with information from sources that haven’t been proven or vetted at all. Facebook is doing what they can to curb this trend. The reality, however, is that it’s up to us as the citizens of these social media services to make the right choices and to teach our kids how to do the same thing. The responsibility lies with us, not with Mark Zuckerberg or Facebook. These tech giants are going to make choices based on what is right for their companies and we, as parents and leaders, have to step up and make the choices that are right for our families.

  • Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    After I do a workshop and unpack the many threats and resources related to internet safety I am met with several different responses. One of the most common is the overwhelmed parent who wants to do something to help their kids be safe but doesn’t know where to start. These are the parents that I try to set up a consultation with to diagnose their internet safety needs. Here are the three questions I ask to help them make a plan and what their answers tell me.

    Question 1: How many devices are in your home?

    First of all I need to know how many phones, tablets, computers, game systems, smart TVs, and such you have floating around your house. I get all kinds of answers to this question and they all require a different approach. The main thing I need to know is who uses what devices and if everyone has their own. If everyone is using their own then something like Circle is a good idea because you can give each family member a profile and assign their devices to their account, thus, applying restrictions to each device depending on who uses it. If there are shared deices in the home it changes things. This requires you to use something like net-nanny or an accountability software like Accountable2You so that you can either have different accounts per device (on computers) or have an overall scan to catch and report any unsavory activity. This allows you to approach each situation and correct what’s allowing inappropriate content to get through. Try taking an inventory of all the electronic devices that are in your home. This will help you have a better understanding of your internet safety needs and what solutions will work best.

    Question 2: What are your devices mostly used for?

    You’ll need different options for devices that are used for research than for entertainment only. If your child likes to wander around on YouTube then you’ll want to set up the safe-search settings and install something that can keep some of the more mature content away from them. If they’re searching Google for school or other projects then you’ll have to be sure your internet filter and accountability software are strong. Smaller children can be protected by settings or apps that lock them out of other apps and browsers while your older kids can be trained by time limits, bed times, and wifi pausing features. The purpose of the device will go a long way to define the settings you’ll need to lock them down in the best, most helpful way.

    Question 3: Who are you protecting?

    The gender, age, and previous behavior of your kids are important for determining how you should protect your kids online. Older kids need to be protected from things they may seek out while younger kids usually happen upon inappropriate content on accident. Girls (often boys as well) should be monitored on social media, boys are especially prone to constant video gaming, and any child who’s been caught doing something unsavory in the past should have more strict boundaries set up for them. Knowing who you’re protecting is just as important as knowing what devices you have and what they’re used for.

    It’s Time to Evaluate!

    So now it’s up to you to start asking yourself these questions. Maybe sit down with your family and discuss the questions together. Talk with them about what healthy boundaries would look like in your home and task some of your older kids with seeking out some internet safety solutions. Work together to find the filters, accountability software, time management apps, and devices that are right for your family. Building this plan as a team will help you find keep the plan in place as you have all contributed to the strategy equally. As always, please send us an email or comment on this post if we can help you with your plan in any way.