Family Tech Blog

Tag: tinder

  • Facebook is Making a Dating Feature while Instagram Works to Curb Bullying

    Facebook is Making a Dating Feature while Instagram Works to Curb Bullying

    Social Media News from Facebook’s F8 Conference

    The F8 Developers Conference is Facebook’s annual event to showcase what they are working on in their numerous social media and messaging platforms. Tuesday’s announcements featured Facebook’s new features to connect people for romance and new friendships. Instagram is looking to stop bullying before it happens.

    Facebook Dating

    The dating feature for Facebook has been tested in several countries including Mexico, Thailand, and Canada. It will be rolled out soon to more countries and finally released in the United States “by the end of this year.” The latest update to Facebook Dating allows you to build a secret crush list. This list of eight people will be saved and compared to the lists of your friends who also use Facebook Dating. If any of your crushes add you to their crush list you will both be notified so you can make a connection.

    I guess, if you’re going to try to make romantic connections on social media it is better to start with people you’re already friends with. Facebook says it will help you with connections based on your groups, likes, and comments on their app. Their goal is to help connect you to people with whom you share interested, thus, increasing the chance of you having a match. They actually said they are not trying to make connections for a one time hook up but to actually help you find someone you’d be interested in having a real relationship with.

    Facebook is also testing features that will recommend new friends based on your interests, location, work, and even what college you went to. Again, being tested in just a few countries, the Meet New Friends feature will allow users to opt-in and then customize their profile to tell the system what interests to prioritize while connecting them with new friends. You can even list what activities you’d like to do with new friends and then be prompted to send a private message to someone and make plans to do that activity.

    What Parents Should Know

    Fewer of our kids use Facebook now but there are those that still spend time on there. Dating and Friend Finding features can be problematic for parents who are concerned about their kids making unwanted connections on social media. My advice is to not allow your child on social media until around the age of 16 (based on their maturity) and even then keep open conversation with them about the kind of people they make friends with online. My rule will be to only allow my friends to communicate online with people they already know really well in real life.

    Instagram Fights Bullying

    While Facebook is trying to connect you with more people, Instagram is working to protect you from the people you’re already connected to. Developers have announced a tool that will nudge users to think twice before posting a negative comment on an Instagram photo. They can choose to ignore the advice and post it anyway, but Instagram is hoping that causing them to give pause will curb some of the negativity that Instagram is becoming known for. There are also tools in development that will allow users to block comments from certain users without blocking their accounts altogether.

    Just in case blocking comments isn’t enough of a break from the negativity, another Instagram feature will let you take a break by going into “away mode.” This is a way to sign off of Instagram for a while, no longer get messages, comments, and notifications or be prompted to post, but still not have to delete your account. Also, in an attempt to make Instagram “less pressurized” they are testing the ability to hide like counts.

    What Parents Should Know

    We have all heard stories of young people deleting or archiving photos because they didn’t get enough likes. We’ve read the horrible news stories about kids who harmed themselves, or worse, as a result of being bullied on Instagram or Snapchat. These efforts by Instagram to curb some of the negativity are a great idea. In my opinion, however, there is no better line of defense that parents. Our job is to create that safe space for our kids to come to when they have a question or concern about social media. We should be the ones determining how old they should be before they sign up for that Instagram profile. We should be who they come to when some stranger reaches out to them on Snapchat. That can’t happen if we aren’t aware or if we are too timid about the time they spend on social media. If we will take our role seriously we can raise kids who are healthy and whole.

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  • Tinder, Grindr, and Predators. Social Media and Suicide. Who do we blame?

    Tinder, Grindr, and Predators. Social Media and Suicide. Who do we blame?

    There were more than 30 instances of abuse of children from the Tinder and Grindr apps since 2015. That number may seem small but when you consider that fact that kids have easily skirted around the age requirements of these dating/hookup apps and made contact with people who wish to harm them, any number is too high. While these companies say they’re doing all they can to keep kids from using their software, all they really say in response to these horrible occurrences is that the predators and kids violated their terms and services. Since the terms say you shouldn’t contact minors and that minors shouldn’t be using their software, they claim the responsibility isn’t theirs because the child was put in danger by using the app in a way that it wasn’t intended to be used.

    Officials are saying that isn’t good enough with law makers in the UK trying to create legislation that will require age verification on apps like Tinder and even some social media apps like Instagram. Recent suicides have been proven to be inspired by images of self harm that were viewed on Instagram. Again, officials at the social media company say that the most violent of the images violate their terms and services. They have recently, however, banned images of self harm and suicide and removed the categories from search results.

    Here is the question: When these horrible things happen, do we blame the companies who make these online products? Is it enough to write a terms and agreements and say that those who break the rules do so at the fault of their own and no fault of the company? So far, legally, that’s all it takes. It seems that the responsibility of the company ends with the terms and conditions page. If the user doesn’t follow the terms, then how is the company supposed to protect users? Some officials are asking for age verification which means keeping more records. This is something many companies don’t want to do because of recent privacy and data breach concerns. There is only one thing I know for sure, if families will get serious about monitoring their kids’ screen time and online activity, the number of these occurrences will dramatically decrease.

    Let me describe a scenario for you. Your 12 year old child wants to meet new people online, maybe they heard some friends talking about a dating or hook up app, maybe they just don’t have a lot of friends in real life. Whatever the reason, they’re looking for a way to meet people. While they’re looking through the app store they see this in the search results:

     

    They tap download, create a profile and start swiping. Eventually meeting new people on the app. Conversations move to WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or Signal and they schedule a meetup. Your imagination can take over from there and if you’ve read some of the news stories it can get pretty awful.

    Imagine, now, that you have parental controls set so that your child has to request permission to download apps. Maybe you even have their controls set to keep them from downloading apps rated for users over 12 years of age. Either of these approaches would keep you from hearing about your child’s new friendship or worse, romantic relationship with a stranger online. Instead, you’ll see that they’re trying to download an app that is designed to connect people for romantic relationships and be able to discuss this with them. You can share the dangers of building relationships with strangers and help them understand the importance of privacy, security, and parental supervision.

    There are built in ways to protect your child on both iOS and Android devices. The key is to set them up. Use the built in protections and features and don’t rely on these companies to protect your children. They don’t exist to keep your family safe or even to help people build healthy relationships. These companies develop their products to make money. It is foolish to expect Instagram to protect your kids from suicide, should they have a responsibility for what is on their app, yes, should you blame them if your kid harms themselves because they see something on the app, not entirely. You have to take some of the blame onto yourself. There are ways to keep your kids safe from that kind of content. If you don’t know about it or don’t use it, it isn’t the fault of the company. It’s yours. Be involved, pay attention, and do the work to keep them safe.