A YouTuber (sensitive content warning) has found evidence that there is a vast community of child predators and those who watch content that contain child exploitation on YouTube. They are using comment sections and timestamps to lead each other to actual child pornography. They start with a search for a simple popular YouTube trend and then the algorithm that YouTube uses to connect viewers with like content will eventually propose a video of kids that can be considered appealing to these viewers. They then click through in the comments section to parts of the video that seem innocent but are, unfortunately, what these predators have been looking for.
YouTube’s response didn’t come until after advertisers begin pulling down there ads. They began by removing some of the videos and some of the comments, as well as demonitizing (pausing ad revenue) videos on which these comments are posted. YouTubers are concerned because some of their videos have been or could be demonetized because of a commenter’s words, not something they control. Whether you want to blame the site, the viewers, or the makers of the videos, the fact that the conversation goes strait to money is a serious problem.
I think the money isn’t the issue. I understand hitting them where it hurts and that YouTube should do something but we have to take some responsibility. I believe we need to have a serious conversation about what types of videos we allow our children to post publicly and we should be very concerned about the types of people who watch these videos. Watch the video above to hear more of my thought son this issue.
The video to initially expose this issue is below, be warned that it’s disturbing to watch and there is adult language.
There were more than 30 instances of abuse of children from the Tinder and Grindr apps since 2015. That number may seem small but when you consider that fact that kids have easily skirted around the age requirements of these dating/hookup apps and made contact with people who wish to harm them, any number is too high. While these companies say they’re doing all they can to keep kids from using their software, all they really say in response to these horrible occurrences is that the predators and kids violated their terms and services. Since the terms say you shouldn’t contact minors and that minors shouldn’t be using their software, they claim the responsibility isn’t theirs because the child was put in danger by using the app in a way that it wasn’t intended to be used.
Officials are saying that isn’t good enough with law makers in the UK trying to create legislation that will require age verification on apps like Tinder and even some social media apps like Instagram. Recent suicides have been proven to be inspired by images of self harm that were viewed on Instagram. Again, officials at the social media company say that the most violent of the images violate their terms and services. They have recently, however, banned images of self harm and suicide and removed the categories from search results.
Here is the question: When these horrible things happen, do we blame the companies who make these online products? Is it enough to write a terms and agreements and say that those who break the rules do so at the fault of their own and no fault of the company? So far, legally, that’s all it takes. It seems that the responsibility of the company ends with the terms and conditions page. If the user doesn’t follow the terms, then how is the company supposed to protect users? Some officials are asking for age verification which means keeping more records. This is something many companies don’t want to do because of recent privacy and data breach concerns. There is only one thing I know for sure, if families will get serious about monitoring their kids’ screen time and online activity, the number of these occurrences will dramatically decrease.
Let me describe a scenario for you. Your 12 year old child wants to meet new people online, maybe they heard some friends talking about a dating or hook up app, maybe they just don’t have a lot of friends in real life. Whatever the reason, they’re looking for a way to meet people. While they’re looking through the app store they see this in the search results:
They tap download, create a profile and start swiping. Eventually meeting new people on the app. Conversations move to WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or Signal and they schedule a meetup. Your imagination can take over from there and if you’ve read some of the news stories it can get pretty awful.
Imagine, now, that you have parental controls set so that your child has to request permission to download apps. Maybe you even have their controls set to keep them from downloading apps rated for users over 12 years of age. Either of these approaches would keep you from hearing about your child’s new friendship or worse, romantic relationship with a stranger online. Instead, you’ll see that they’re trying to download an app that is designed to connect people for romantic relationships and be able to discuss this with them. You can share the dangers of building relationships with strangers and help them understand the importance of privacy, security, and parental supervision.
There are built in ways to protect your child on both iOS and Android devices. The key is to set them up. Use the built in protections and features and don’t rely on these companies to protect your children. They don’t exist to keep your family safe or even to help people build healthy relationships. These companies develop their products to make money. It is foolish to expect Instagram to protect your kids from suicide, should they have a responsibility for what is on their app, yes, should you blame them if your kid harms themselves because they see something on the app, not entirely. You have to take some of the blame onto yourself. There are ways to keep your kids safe from that kind of content. If you don’t know about it or don’t use it, it isn’t the fault of the company. It’s yours. Be involved, pay attention, and do the work to keep them safe.
It seems that every time something gets popular, someone finds a way to turn it into a dangerous internet meme. The movie Birdbox on Netflix stars Sandra Bullock and features her adventure with two children through a dystopian wasteland five years after a mysterious force caused mass suicide all over the world. Because this force causes you to kill yourself when you look at it most of the main characters spend the entire movie wearing blindfolds. Enter said internet meme.
Bird Box
The Birdbox Challenge is a video meme that asks its participants to do mundane, regular tasks while blindfolded. People have done things like cooking, walking through their home, spend 24 hours blindfolded, and even driving while blindfolded. Some of the earliest challenge videos received millions of views in a matter of days. Obviously content creators felt the need to outdo themselves and others. This led to some dumb and even dangerous stunts that eventually led to a warning from Netflix and the banning of all BirdBox challenge videos from YouTube.
People have filmed themselves walking through traffic and driving while blindfolded leading to a couple of car crashes including one by a teen in Layton, Utah. These challenges can be dangerous and unfortunately the popularity travels so fast that our kids are the first ones to learn of them and try them themselves. Always looking for something of theirs to go viral, our kids will try to copy and even outdo the other videos they’ve seen online. The TidePod challenge is another example of escalation causing a silly meme to get out of hand and even hurt people. The Tide Pod challenge was also banned by YouTube and Tide even did a series of commercials to discourage people from participating.
Whenever anyone, especially our kids, gets harmed by something as ridiculous as a challenge on the internet there is an outcry for someone to take responsibility. We may speak out against law enforcement for not cracking down or the production company for making the show the memes are based on. Maybe we’ll want the streaming platform or social media service that these memes are being shared on to take responsibility. Wherever we place the blame, we are understandably longing for someone to answer for these stupid and dangerous occurrences.
Gaming, social media, entertainment, and education have all come under fire from time to time for the influence they have over our kids. Learning about dangerous challenges can happen naturally from friends but the ability for information to spread over the internet is unprecedented until now. The inspiration for some of these challenges come from the media our kids consume. There are so many factors, though, that cause the spread of all this craziness but the one factor that is constant is the lack of moderation and responsibility.
As parents, we should see these occurrences as warnings that it is time for us to be more involved in what our kids are doing, whether online or offline. We have no excuse since there is so much hardware and software available to help us monitor what is happening on our kids’ screens. We are hearing all of the time that we need to be involved and that we should take responsibility for the things our children are seeing. It also falls to us to teach our kids to take personal responsibility for their actions.
Teaching Responsibility
When our kids see Netflix putting out warnings or YouTube banning content, they see a major corporation taking responsibility for their user-base’s stupid choices. In reality, though, these companies aren’t taking responsibility, they are covering their own back sides before something truly horrible and reputation ruining happens on their service or platform. We live in a world that wants to skirt around responsibility and find someone else to blame. Our kids aren’t going to learn how to take the fall for their own actions unless we teach them to do so. Here are some ways my wife and I teach that to our children:
1. They must ask forgiveness and they must give forgiveness.
We don’t just let our kids say they’re sorry. When they hurt each other’s feelings they must ask to be forgiven and then we expect the other child to say more than “It’s ok.” we want them to say “I forgive you.” This causes the offender to understand that their actions caused someone harm and the offended to realize that they have a responsibility to honor the request for forgiveness.
2. They have chores.
Our children have responsibility for things they do around the house and they don’t get paid for it. We consider keeping your room clean and your laundry in the hamper a basic requirement for living in our home. They have other chores that they cycle through and they don’t get to bargain or trade, no matter which ones they dislike or like they have to do what the chart says for that day. This way they’re learning to do junk they don’t enjoy just because they are required to do it. They don’t get paid for this either unless you consider that fact that they have to have it done to even ask to get screen time.
3. They buy their own stuff.
Our oldest two children have made some money through performing and sometimes they all get a chance to do odd jobs for friends and family to earn some cash. When they have money, they like to spend it and when it’s gone, it’s gone. We don’t usually agree to fit the bill on stuff they want. They can wait for birthdays or Christmas or they can buy it themselves. That’s how life works.
4. They are told no a lot.
We have learned the power of saying no to your children. As our oldest two have grown up they’ve heard no so much that they know when to not even ask. Sometimes I’ll have what I call a “Yes day!” this is a day when I say yes to pretty much anything they ask me (within reason.) I don’t tell them it’s a yes day but they tend to figure it out pretty quick and we all really enjoy doing things together that I would normally say no to without thinking. (Think playing four hours of Risk with your 11 and 9 year old.)
These things aren’t world changing but they can be life changing and can go a long way to help you instill a sense of responsibility in your kids. Making them take responsibility for how they feel and how they make others feel is something that I believe is truly lacking in our society and our kids have a head start at becoming excellent human beings from that step alone. Learning how to work for and spend money wisely teaches them that they are responsible for how they spend their time as well as what they earn and what they have. Finally, hearing no is critical for kids from a very young age. Life isn’t fair. There are things in life that just happen when you don’t want them to or things that you wish would happen to you that happen for others instead. This. Is. Life. Get used to it.
