Family Tech Blog

Tag: kids

  • Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    Five Internet Safety Mistakes Parents Make

    I spend most days trying to help parents make and implement an internet safety plan. Too often I run into hurdles that I have to jump over in order to help them out. Here are five of the most common mistakes that get in the way of parents’ internet safety strategy.

    1. Secrecy

    Parents of older kids want to give their kids freedom on their devices but keep an eye on them at the same time. I’m often asked how to do that without the kids knowing mom and dad are watching. My answer is usually, “don’t do that.” The goal is building trust and a better understanding of responsible technology use and internet accountability. Sneaking around and spying on your kid, while it may seem like a good way to see what they’re actually in to, is an even better way to ensure they won’t ever come to you when they need to talk to someone about what they’ve seen or experienced online. Obviously, if they know you’re watching and you approach them about something you didn’t approve of then they’ll know it’s coming and will be ready to have that discussion. If you have to talk with them about something you caught them doing while you were sneaking around they’ll see that as a breach of trust and you’ll find yourself with a much harder road to travel from then on. The best thing about transparency is that your kids are more likely to make better decisions when they know they’ll be held accountable for those decisions. Telling them you’re watching them can lead to better responsibility.

    2. Giving Up

    Setting digital boundaries is not easy. There will be arguments, sneaky kids, tutorial videos, and lots and lots of research. The key is to never give up. Things change fast and it truly is difficult to keep up. You have to find the resources that you trust that can help you stay informed. You should find the people you know can help you set your boundaries up to fit your needs. You have to keep reading up on what’s going on in the digital world your kids live in. If you give up you will get left behind and that means you’re not keeping your children safe.

    3. Sharing Passwords

    As obvious as this may seem, I have to say it. You must resist the temptation to reveal passwords to your kids. What happens is that kids (especially the younger ones) get tired of what they’re doing very quickly. When they are playing a game and you have it set with guided access or something like it that won’t allow them to back out of the app you will have to be the one who has to switch apps for them. Unless you just tell them the password. More convenient? Maybe. Safe? Absolutely not! There is honestly no reason at all to have any kind of boundaries set up if you are easily urged to hand over the passwords to the tools you use to establish those boundaries. Passwords are meant to keep the parental controls within the controls of the parents. Again, seems obvious, but you would be shocked at how many people have to be reminded of this truth.

    4. Not Starting

    The hardest step to take in protected your family online is the first one. Creating your internet safety plan begins with assessing the current situation in your home. That can be overwhelming at best, and extremely discouraging at worst. Some families don’t even know how many devices are in their home or who they all belong to. I worked with a family once that was shocked when their kids kept bringing phones down out of their rooms over and over again. Come to find out, their friends would give them their old phones and they’d use them on wifi when they were grounded from their own. Yes, it is discouraging but it is absolutely necessary. You need to have a plan and you must have conversations with your kids about that plan. You can’t do anything, though, if you never start. Begin today! Email me if you’d like. I will help you get started.

    5. Never Updating Software

    I covered this in a recent post but I have to reiterate because its one of the most common mistakes I see parents make. If your accountability software, filter, or devices are not updated regularly then they aren’t as secure as you’re needing them to be. If you pay monthly for these apps and software then you aren’t getting what you’re paying for, you’re only getting part of it. Updating the software when you see the notification is critical for keeping your internet safety tools in full working order. Filters use updates to load the latest information that lets the filter know what sites should be blocked and what shouldn’t, other apps like accountability software use the updates to keep their “red-flagged sites” lists up to par with what’s out there. If you aren’t updating you are eliminating an entire piece of your digital boundaries puzzle.

    Don’t let yourself fall victim to any of these blunders of internet safety planning. Read all you can on this site and subscribe to our mailing list so you see the latest news. Keep track of internet safety news with other blogs and websites as well. Keep your software updated, talk to your kids about your plan, and for the love of facepalm emojis, get started as soon as you can.

  • Snapchat Update Adds New Effects and Sharable Links

    Snapchat Update Adds New Effects and Sharable Links

    Snapchat’s latest update will give the camera background effects and allow you to change your voice without using one of their filters. The other major feature is the ability to share links and open them within Snapchat’s very own browser. While you can’t type a url into the address bar at the top of the browser you can click around online and end up at any website you’d like. That’s right, that means your kids can now browse the internet within Snapchat. This has always been possible in other social media apps like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook but now Snapchat will allow users to tap right on a picture and open a link without leaving the app.

    What Parents Should Know

    If the Discover Page, disappearing photos, private video chat, and SnapMap isn’t enough to put this on your uninstall list, perhaps the ability to access the entire internet without leaving the app will help you pull the trigger. Yes, this feature is available in other social media apps but when you factor in all of the other features that can be a detriment to your internet safety plan it puts Snapchat at the top of my uninstall list.

  • FB Now Boasts 2 Billion Users, What Does That Mean for Your Family?

    FB Now Boasts 2 Billion Users, What Does That Mean for Your Family?

    Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced today that the social media platform has surpassed 200 billion users every month. The growth has been said to come from a focus on developing countries and regaining lost users. Zuckerberg’s response to this growth was one of excitement and responsibility, he said:

    “We’re making progress connecting the world, and now let’s bring the world closer together.” -Mark Zuckerberg

    Facebook started in 2004 and reached 1 billion users in 2012. The social media is the most used platform with YouTube a distant second with 1.5 billion users every month. What’sApp and FB Messenger both have 1.2 billion but they are also owned by Facebook. The obvious staying power of Facebook is evident in these numbers and their strategy of gaining new users in developing countries and regaining users who had left Facebook is paying off. What do these numbers tell us about the state of Social Media and the Internet? (If they really are two different things.)

    1. Your kids are probably on Facebook.

    The joke has forever been that once parents started using Facebook the kids jumped off. In reality, your kids are most likely using Facebook again. The reason they’ve returned is simple. There is more there to offer. The option to adjust what they see on their timeline and what ads they see are appealing and the AR camera and story feature in Messenger and the Facebook app has come a long way to entice former users to give Facebook another try.

    2. The entire world is available to your kids on Facebook.

    Two billion users is almost a third of the entire world. That means the influence available to your kids is more global than ever. When you add in the other social media services your kids use the globe just gets even smaller. Every idea anyone has or has ever had is available to your children through social media. Every thought anyone has or has ever had on any topic is available to digest and use to develop their own beliefs and thoughts. The influence of the world available on social media has changed the way our kids grow up and what they believe tremendously and the more these services like Facebook grow the more confusing some of these voices can be. There is, of course, a great opportunity to help your kids understand the larger world they live in but you have to help them navigate that world in a healthy way.

    3. Your example of internet citizenship is more important than ever.

    The globalization of our kids’ influences through social media should be a wake up call for parents. We need to understand the responsibility we have to keep our kids protected from the many dangers that are available to them online and to teach them how to be a good citizen of the internet. What do we do when we see something that could be fake or click-bate? Do we fall for the trap? What photos do you share? Are you smart with how you broadcast your location? These are all important safety concepts that our kids have to understand. The best way they’ll learn this wisdom is by watching us implement it ourselves.

    Facebook is proud that they’re the pinnacle of social media greatness. Mark Zuckerberg is emphasizing the responsibility they have to use this influence to bring people together and not tear them apart. Recent news and election cycles have been an example of how social media can cause people to ignore facts and strengthen their own beliefs with information from sources that haven’t been proven or vetted at all. Facebook is doing what they can to curb this trend. The reality, however, is that it’s up to us as the citizens of these social media services to make the right choices and to teach our kids how to do the same thing. The responsibility lies with us, not with Mark Zuckerberg or Facebook. These tech giants are going to make choices based on what is right for their companies and we, as parents and leaders, have to step up and make the choices that are right for our families.

  • PODCAST: Is My Kid Safe on Tumblr?

    PODCAST: Is My Kid Safe on Tumblr?

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    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

    FAMILY TECH WEEKLY: Tumblr “safe mode” is a joke, Musical.ly is bringing original show content, and you can now hide images in Instagram.

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  • Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    Diagnosing Your Tech Safety Needs with 3 Questions

    After I do a workshop and unpack the many threats and resources related to internet safety I am met with several different responses. One of the most common is the overwhelmed parent who wants to do something to help their kids be safe but doesn’t know where to start. These are the parents that I try to set up a consultation with to diagnose their internet safety needs. Here are the three questions I ask to help them make a plan and what their answers tell me.

    Question 1: How many devices are in your home?

    First of all I need to know how many phones, tablets, computers, game systems, smart TVs, and such you have floating around your house. I get all kinds of answers to this question and they all require a different approach. The main thing I need to know is who uses what devices and if everyone has their own. If everyone is using their own then something like Circle is a good idea because you can give each family member a profile and assign their devices to their account, thus, applying restrictions to each device depending on who uses it. If there are shared deices in the home it changes things. This requires you to use something like net-nanny or an accountability software like Accountable2You so that you can either have different accounts per device (on computers) or have an overall scan to catch and report any unsavory activity. This allows you to approach each situation and correct what’s allowing inappropriate content to get through. Try taking an inventory of all the electronic devices that are in your home. This will help you have a better understanding of your internet safety needs and what solutions will work best.

    Question 2: What are your devices mostly used for?

    You’ll need different options for devices that are used for research than for entertainment only. If your child likes to wander around on YouTube then you’ll want to set up the safe-search settings and install something that can keep some of the more mature content away from them. If they’re searching Google for school or other projects then you’ll have to be sure your internet filter and accountability software are strong. Smaller children can be protected by settings or apps that lock them out of other apps and browsers while your older kids can be trained by time limits, bed times, and wifi pausing features. The purpose of the device will go a long way to define the settings you’ll need to lock them down in the best, most helpful way.

    Question 3: Who are you protecting?

    The gender, age, and previous behavior of your kids are important for determining how you should protect your kids online. Older kids need to be protected from things they may seek out while younger kids usually happen upon inappropriate content on accident. Girls (often boys as well) should be monitored on social media, boys are especially prone to constant video gaming, and any child who’s been caught doing something unsavory in the past should have more strict boundaries set up for them. Knowing who you’re protecting is just as important as knowing what devices you have and what they’re used for.

    It’s Time to Evaluate!

    So now it’s up to you to start asking yourself these questions. Maybe sit down with your family and discuss the questions together. Talk with them about what healthy boundaries would look like in your home and task some of your older kids with seeking out some internet safety solutions. Work together to find the filters, accountability software, time management apps, and devices that are right for your family. Building this plan as a team will help you find keep the plan in place as you have all contributed to the strategy equally. As always, please send us an email or comment on this post if we can help you with your plan in any way.

  • PODCAST: What’s the Deal With Let’s Play Videos?

    PODCAST: What’s the Deal With Let’s Play Videos?

    Podcast: Play in new window

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

    Apple and Android are each getting a new OS, teaching healthy tech habits, and the eSports debate.

    FAMILY TECH WEEKLY EPISODE 8

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    Websites

    Ministry Site:: http://becausefamily.org

    Tech Blog:: https://safe.becausefamily.org

    Michael’s Speaking Info:: http://kmichaelprince.org

    Donate and Affiliate Links

    http://BecauseFamily.org/partnership

  • This Social Media Parody App May Cause You to Re-Think Everything

    This Social Media Parody App May Cause You to Re-Think Everything

    There are more articles on this site about social media than any other topic. I truly believe that social media is not a part of the internet, it is the reality of what the world wide web is now all about. Every site you visit has a social aspect, even if it’s just a way to connect to your favorite social media platform. Our businesses are run through social media and advertising is more prevalent and successful on our newsfeeds than nearly anywhere else. Social media isn’t a fad or a trend. It’s the world we live in and for some, it’s an addiction.  A new app, Binky, is providing a bit of a caricature of the social media lifestyle and it may just be something you should check out.

    Binky is a social media simulator (more like a parody) app that started as a joke. It simulates the features of most status and photo sharing social media platforms by giving you a seemingly endless stream of fake posts to scroll through. As you scroll you’ll see absolutely random and unrelated images with captions that may or may not make sense. You have the option to “Bink,” (read: Like) comment or “Re-Bink” (read: Share) the images that you’re scrolling through. When you click the Bink button you get an explosion of stars from under your tapping finger and a delightful bloop bloop sound. Commenting is my favorite feature of this app because it doesn’t actually let you say anything. Every letter you type after tapping the comment icon automatically puts in a word to form a randomly generated comment of text and emoji complete with meaningless hashtags. Finally, when you share the app you’ll receive a notice that asks if you are sure you want to “Re-Bink” this post. You’re reminded that the Re-Bink doesn’t actually do anything but it actually does. You get an explosion of thumbs up icons. That’s it though, there is not really anyone to  share with in Binky.

    What is the point?

    There really isn’t a point, except for satire and parody. You may be able to say that using this app is a bit eye opening, however. I think it was for me. As I mindlessly scrolled through Binky and clicked on the meaningless buttons and commented the automatically generated sentences on each post I couldn’t help but think about how not far from actual social media this was. What difference does what I do on Instagram or Facebook actually have? Is it any more that my activity on Binky today? I don’t know for sure but I think thinking this way is a good thing. We tend to be so concerned about how we look online that many of us, especially your teen and young adult children, may actually put on a false persona on our social media pages. Binky was a way for me to see the ridiculousness of working so hard to get more likes, comments, and shares.

    What Parents Should Know

    As I said before this app isn’t a real social media app. There is no social aspect to it at all. It’s more like a simulation of social media. Something to give us another perspective on what our behavior online truly looks like. I recommend spending some time messing with this app and encouraging your young teens and teens to install it and play around on it. It’s not only humorous but could lead to some conversations on the futility of living your life and finding your worth on social media. Maybe, just maybe, you can use an app like Binky to start a conversation that could help you make some good decisions with your kids on what healthy social media use looks like in your family.

  • Social Media, Globalization, and Our Kids’ Convictions

    Social Media, Globalization, and Our Kids’ Convictions

    We’ve got “covfeve”, Hillary Clinton speaking about politics at a programming conference, Kathy Griffin vs Donald Trump on Twitter, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk talking about the President’s climate change beliefs, and all other kinds of tech notables using their platform to promote their political and ethical beliefs. There’s no doubt that our kids are growing up being more aware of the polarized political landscape we live in than ever before.

    I remember knowing there was a President when I was a kid. I remember hearing a thing or two about impeachment and adultery but I didn’t care or pay too much attention. I was a preteen and I had more important things to deal with. Mainly video games, girls, and baseball. I don’t remember hearing anything about politics while I was in middle school or high school. I registered to vote when I was 18 and voted for who my family said would be a good choice. Now, the people who run our favorite entertainment companies openly state their disdain or support for our government officials. Protests have hashtags and political videos and memes go viral equally because of people agreeing and disagreeing with them. It’s obvious to our kids now that we are living in a volatile political situation.

    Political opinion is formed by who you grow up listening to. It used to be formed by parents, grandparents, and the culture in your local community. Globalization now allows our kids access to every opinion from any voice they want to hear from. Many times these voices are people mom and dad may not be comfortable with. Declaring whether or not that is a good thing is not the intent of this article. My goal with this article is to give understanding to parents who are confused about why their kids grow up to think differently than they do.

    Your children live in a globally influential world instead of the small section of the country that we grew up in. I grew up in Texas, New Mexico, and Missouri and believed the better part of what I was raised to believe. The global landscape of social media (which is just the state of the internet in our culture) has caused many of those beliefs to shift or even outright be changed. Not just for me but for most in my generation and younger.

    Parents should be aware, whatever your thoughts are on today’s hot political topics, that your voice is most likely not the loudest voice in your children’s lives. The Snapchat Discover page, that YouTube vlogger, Instagram influencers, and even Twitter are telling them whatever message they’re more interested in soaking in. The algorithm’s on these platforms provide them with a steady stream of reinforcement for whatever it is they’ve been tapping or clicking on up to this point. Opinion isn’t being formed by their church, their school, or their family like it used to. It’s formed by anyone and everyone in the entire world. Whatever your thoughts on what your kids should believe or where they should form these beliefs, I just wanted you to know where it’s actually coming from. 

  • You Can Finally Get a Refund for those Old Amazon Purchases Your Kids Made

    You Can Finally Get a Refund for those Old Amazon Purchases Your Kids Made

    Remember those unintended charges your kid racked up on your Amazon account? You can finally get a refund for that. Amazon announced this week, after teasing in April, that they’re opening up their refund system for those old charges. You may recall that Amazon got in to some trouble with the Federal Trade Commission for being too lax on in app purchases. This caused thousands of parents to see charges show up on their accounts that they weren’t responsible for. Their kids could buy gems, gold pieces, upgrades, or whatever else in the games they were playing with no secret pin or passcode required. At the time Amazon added the parental restrictions but were still working on a way to give out all of the refunds.

    They will be emailing users who are eligible for a refund and you can follow the steps from there. There is a one year deadline to submit for your refund and them the time is up. These refunds will cost Amazon up to $70 million dollars and are available to users who had this problem from 2011 through 2016. If you think you’re eligible but didn’t get an email you can visit https://www.amazon.com/gp/mas/refund-orders/in-apprefund/ to find out if you qualify.

    The Federal Trade Commission’s Official Statement

    What Parents Should Know

    Obviously you should get your refund if you qualify but these charges can still happen if you don’t have your settings right. You can set up purchase permissions on iTunes, Amazon, or Android’s Google Play store. You also have to set individual permissions on most of your devices. This will allow you to require passwords and pins in order to make a purchase, thus keeping you from seeing strange charges on your credit card or bank statements. I’ve made a video to help you with your Apple devices. Hopefully you can use these steps to keep from having to apply for any refunds for purchases you didn’t make yourself.

  • Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    One of the most popular questions I get when I do tech safety workshops for parents is “how do I set restrictions for my older teen?” I think the most important thing to remember is that you’re not just setting restrictions, you’re teaching healthy habits. The brain of an adolescent is developing in such a way that your guidance is critical as they navigate these murky digital waters.

    I like the term healthy when it comes to internet use because right and wrong is subjective. Your sixteen year old may believe that it’s ok to watch YouTube videos for five hours on a Saturday afternoon but you can use facts to help him understand that it may not be healthy. Our conversation with our teenagers shouldn’t be about what digital habits are right and wrong but what is healthy. Here are three critical factors to keep in mind while teaching healthy tech habits.

    Relationship

    Boundaries without relationship become rules and rules were made to be broken. Because of your healthy relationship you can help your teenager understand that the rules exist to protect them. You can create a safe place for them to come to when they need guidance on their tech habits, about how they’ve been treated online, or about regrets regarding something they’ve seen or done online.

    As parents we shouldn’t close the door to conversation with instant judgement or constant nagging about the time they spend online. I recommend using digital means to keep track (with their knowledge) of what they do online and only bringing it up when it becomes a consistant problem. Relationship is the most important part of any internet safety strategy.

    Transparency

    Openness and transparency is key, not just on your teen’s part but on your part as well. It is critical that you are transparent with them about your tech habits. They need to understand that you’re trying to get it right as well and that the habits they develop now will affect them as they grow older. The best way for them to learn this is by watching you and hearing about how you’re having to deal with these same issues now. Whether you’re trying to keep them from dangerous content or help them avoid tech addiction, they should understand that you’re trying to protect yourself from those things too. The quickest way to cause your teen or young adult child to stop taking you seriously is for you to not practice what you preach.

    Time Management

    Obviously time management will be critical as your child graduates high school and enters college. Between jobs, studying, and extra activities they’ve probably already had to develop some form of time management skill. The lure and appeal of constantly available video, music, and gaming entertainment can make time management more difficult now than it’s ever been.

    You have to help your teen understand what good time management looks like. Point them towards content on the tech that they enjoy, like YouTube videos, podcasts, or productivity apps and other tools that will help them learn more about healthier time management habits. Encourage them to use these tools alongside some of the entertainment they consume.

    All three of these steps are related to each other and will greatly impact one another. If you don’t have a good relationship with your child that encourages communication, if you aren’t being a good example, and if you aren’t teaching and showing time management skills your kids are going to have a hard time navigating healthy tech habits. Online life is a real part of our world and it’s too important to ignore so utilize these steps and let me know what others you have used that have been successful.