Family Tech Blog

Tag: habits

  • Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    Teaching Your Kids Healthy Tech Habits

    One of the most popular questions I get when I do tech safety workshops for parents is “how do I set restrictions for my older teen?” I think the most important thing to remember is that you’re not just setting restrictions, you’re teaching healthy habits. The brain of an adolescent is developing in such a way that your guidance is critical as they navigate these murky digital waters.

    I like the term healthy when it comes to internet use because right and wrong is subjective. Your sixteen year old may believe that it’s ok to watch YouTube videos for five hours on a Saturday afternoon but you can use facts to help him understand that it may not be healthy. Our conversation with our teenagers shouldn’t be about what digital habits are right and wrong but what is healthy. Here are three critical factors to keep in mind while teaching healthy tech habits.

    Relationship

    Boundaries without relationship become rules and rules were made to be broken. Because of your healthy relationship you can help your teenager understand that the rules exist to protect them. You can create a safe place for them to come to when they need guidance on their tech habits, about how they’ve been treated online, or about regrets regarding something they’ve seen or done online.

    As parents we shouldn’t close the door to conversation with instant judgement or constant nagging about the time they spend online. I recommend using digital means to keep track (with their knowledge) of what they do online and only bringing it up when it becomes a consistant problem. Relationship is the most important part of any internet safety strategy.

    Transparency

    Openness and transparency is key, not just on your teen’s part but on your part as well. It is critical that you are transparent with them about your tech habits. They need to understand that you’re trying to get it right as well and that the habits they develop now will affect them as they grow older. The best way for them to learn this is by watching you and hearing about how you’re having to deal with these same issues now. Whether you’re trying to keep them from dangerous content or help them avoid tech addiction, they should understand that you’re trying to protect yourself from those things too. The quickest way to cause your teen or young adult child to stop taking you seriously is for you to not practice what you preach.

    Time Management

    Obviously time management will be critical as your child graduates high school and enters college. Between jobs, studying, and extra activities they’ve probably already had to develop some form of time management skill. The lure and appeal of constantly available video, music, and gaming entertainment can make time management more difficult now than it’s ever been.

    You have to help your teen understand what good time management looks like. Point them towards content on the tech that they enjoy, like YouTube videos, podcasts, or productivity apps and other tools that will help them learn more about healthier time management habits. Encourage them to use these tools alongside some of the entertainment they consume.

    All three of these steps are related to each other and will greatly impact one another. If you don’t have a good relationship with your child that encourages communication, if you aren’t being a good example, and if you aren’t teaching and showing time management skills your kids are going to have a hard time navigating healthy tech habits. Online life is a real part of our world and it’s too important to ignore so utilize these steps and let me know what others you have used that have been successful.

  • Smartphone Separation Anxiety is Actually a Thing!

    Smartphone Separation Anxiety is Actually a Thing!

    Our world is advancing rapidly towards another new technology age. With computers in our pockets all day long it was only a matter of time until we became so dependant on them that the thought of losing them is one of our greatest fears. Researchers are finding that that time has come. Results released last week from a study done by Eotvos Lorand University in Hungary shows evidence that young people suffer significant stress if they are separated from their smartphones. 

    The study was small, only testing 87 volunteers, and asked subjects to take simple math tests in a mostly empty room. Some of those who participated kept their phones, others were asked to turn theirs off, another group locked up their phones and were given someone else’s phone instead, and the final group put their smartphone in a locked cabinet and couldn’t have access to it during the entire study. The findings were pretty much what any of us would expect.

    Those who kept their phones (whether on or off) had no noticeable signs of stress about the test they were taking and the group that had someone elses phone showed a very low stress level as well. The other group (the people with their phones locked in a cabinet) showed significant heart rate fluctuations, an indicator of high stress and similar to symptoms shown by people suffering from PTSD, and tended to drift towards the cabinet their phones were locked in. The volunteers in this group were also very fidgety, scratching their faces and pacing. The researchers took these results as an indicator that there may be a very real link to smartphone separation and anxiety. 

    What Parents Should Know

    This test was a very small sample study and will likely be followed up with some more extensive research. Small as it may be, though, I think we have all either seen or experienced firsthand the symptoms of smartphone separation anxiety. I, personally, make a conscious effort to spend extensive amounts of time without my phone, just to keep from getting so attached. I still find myself reaching for it when it isn’t there. It may seem obvious but I think these tests are a good idea because we should know more about how our habits affect us. 

    As parents it is important that we understand that addiction to technology is very real. While research is only now beginning to explain what’s happening when we get hooked on our electronics, the findings are disheartening. Our brains can actually be trained to ignore stimuli that isn’t on a screen and prefer the phone, tablet, or television over a book, a real sunset, or even someone’s face. We should be aware of how much time our children are spending using their technology and work hard to teach them healthy habits. We have to set the example first, and then set boundaries that will help them understand limits, why we have them, and what happens if we ignore them.

    Use consequences that truly fit the crime for overuse of technology. If they feel a small example of that separation anxiety from being grounded from their phone for a week, you have an opportunity to help them see that their feelings of stress should be avoided and can be avoided with a more healthy attitude towards their digital lifestyle.