The globalization of our world has led to so many benefits for our children. Endless information at their fingertips, education can be more exciting and entertaining, and distant family and friends are only a few screen taps away. With every benefit, however, comes a new challenge. Adult content, cyberbullying, sexting, and access to strangers and predators are changing statistics in our world and not for the better. Physiologists are calling our kids digital natives. They will never know a world that isn’t ruled by the screen, the like button, the selfie, and the Google search. It can seem like such a scary world but there are ways to keep our kids safe. We, as parents, just have to take the initiative to learn and apply a strategy. We at BecauseFamily.org call that strategy S.A.F.E.
S.A.F.E. stands for Setup, Accountability, Filtering, and Education. It should be an easy way to remember the steps you must take to give your kids access to the technology that can enhance their lives while still setting boundaries that will keep them from the dangers of being always connected to the entire world. Let’s unpack the S.A.F.E. strategy.
Setup
The developers of your computer, tablet, and smartphone know that you need some sort of way to keep your kids safe while they use their device. Because of this, almost every device on the market now has some sort of Parental Controls built into the operating system. This means that parents should be able to implement some sort of safety strategy on their devices without spending any money or downloading any extra software.
There are some exceptions, for instance, Android phones didn’t get built in parental controls until the 7.1 version of the operating system and Windows didn’t get it right until Windows 8. My advice is to find out what operating system your device is running and do a google search for parental controls on that OS. Once you’ve found what’s available, set them up immediately. This will give you, while basic, some protections on the tech that your children use.
Accountability
The easiest way to explain the benefit of accountability software is by describing a high-security building. The alarm is set, the doors and windows are closed, locked and break proof. There is even a super high tech laser grid that will set off the alarm if you cross its path. There are still, however, cameras installed. The cameras show you what went on when the rest of the security breaks down. Accountability software is the security camera of your internet safety plan. Accountability software doesn’t block content, it reports inappropriate websites to a pre-determined accountability “partner” through a text or email. This allows you to see what has gone on if something unsavory has been accessed on a computer or other device under your care. When you’ve seen what was found you will be able to have conversations with those you’re holding accountable and take the necessary actions to keep that kind of “breach in security” from happening again.
Filtering
Web filters DO block content. The idea is to let the good things in the internet pass through while filtering out the bad. There are three levels of filtering available on most devices. The first is the built in filters, these are usually pretty basic with an on off switch and not much customizability.
Secondly is the option to purchase and download third party software that will block content. These options usually give you a bit more control and let you set filter levels by age, ratings, or content type and keywords.
Third, you have your whitelist and blacklist settings. Most built in filters have this option but it takes your filter to the next level. Putting a website link in your black list will make it inaccessible on the device that the filter is set up on. This is useful if a site doesn’t necessarily have adult or dangerous content on it but you don’t want your kid or teen visiting the site. For instance, they watch too much YouTube and got bad grades. You can just blacklist the YouTube website on their devices and watch the studying commence.
Whitelisting is the opposite. This allows you to either give a free pass to sites that have been blocked previously by your filter or some filters let you set up a browser to only view websites on the whitelist. I use this for my older kids to use my laptop. They only use three or four websites so that’s all that’s on the whitelist. The rest of the internet is completely closed to them. Filters are the initial protection phase of internet safety. It’s your first line of defense and should be the second step you take…the first is education.
Education
This phase really has two parts to it: research and conversation. Parents should give time every day to researching some of the latest information pertaining to internet safety. One good way to do this is the tech blog that I write found at safe.BecauseFamily.org. This site has daily tech news, up to date tutorials, and even a podcast recapping the week’s family relevant technology stories. I also recommend doing a regular Google search for a “dangerous app list.” You’ll often find some of the accountability and filtering resources have put together lists to help parents identify misleading or dangerous apps.
Conversation is the key to this entire plan. If you aren’t transparent with your kids or teens about your plan for internet safety it will not work. I never recommend sneaking around to monitor your kids’ internet activity. In my experience, you’re much better off having them on your team. Discuss healthy tech habits with your kids and let them help you work through your plan and consequences for breaking the boundaries you’ve set up.
Finally, remember that this plan is fluid. It’s going to work if you put effort into it but things do change. It’s critical that you stay informed on what’s going on in the technology world. When I do workshops to help families with these tech topics the questions are the most relevant and interesting part of the meetings. I recommend looking up our website and shooting us an email if you have any questions. Definitely, keep an eye on our blog at safe.BecauseFamily.org and learn all you can about the digital world your kids are growing up in. It can be hard work and seem overwhelming but there is no task that will bring more positive change.
Bio
K. Michael Prince is a husband, father of 4, blogger, speaker, author, and podcaster. He wrote “What’s in Your Pocket? A parents guide to protecting your children online.” and is the lead editor for a family tech blog (safe.BecauseFamily.org.) He is the director of BecauseFamily, a non-profit that works to empower and equip parents to be the first influence in their kids lives and train parents on raising digital natives.
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