If you have an accountability software and/or a filter installed on your kids’ iPhone, iPad, or iPod you’re wasting your time unless Safari is also disabled. You will want to disable the ability to download new apps as well. In this video tutorial I explain why you’ll want to take these critical steps and walk you through the steps themselves. (more…)
It happened a few times while I was a youth pastor, a student in my youth group said something online about their employer on social media and lost their jobs. Too often I heard complaints about workplaces and bosses. In reality these teenagers seemed to just be whining about everything being someone else’s fault. Well, when it comes to employers firing you from something you said online you may be surprised to learn that your first amendment right to free speech doesn’t apply to your employer.
Free speech, as mentioned in our Bill of Rights, exists to protect you from retaliation from the Government when you speak out in disagreement. It doesn’t apply to calling out your supervisor, Jeff, for being dumber than you and a bad boss. Apparently legitimate complaints about work conditions or problems at work mentioned on social media are protected, but negative “vaguebook” posts about employers or customers and pictures that shed the company (or it’s employees) in a bad light can legally be grounds for firing.
More and more employers look at a potential hire’s social media accounts when deciding if they’ll employ them. Your teen needs to know that what they post online, that song lyric that makes them sound depressed all the time, the nasty comments about the boss at their last job, or even the pics from that night “out” last weekend can come into play when they’re looking for a job. This also applies while they’re trying to keep their job.
We should help our kids understand that social media is a public place. Everyone can see what you post online and there are often consequences to being too public with your thoughts. If you wouldn’t stand in the middle of a crowded room and yell, “My boss is stupid and doesn’t care about his employees” you shouldn’t post it online either. This sounds like common sense but your teen may not be able to think that far ahead during this time in their adolescent brain development. I recommend a conversation about this with your child when they get a job. Use this chance to remind them that what is posted online stays online and that they can’t just say whatever they want. Anonymity is a myth and it’s our job as parents to help our kids understand that.
The third place is explained by sociologists as
“the coffeehouse, the bar, the mall — a public space for relaxing, socializing, sharing ideas, or goofing off.” –TechCrunch
Your kids are finding an online version of that public space and it’s in an app called Houseparty. Houseparty is a group live “hangout” or video chat app and it’s been increasingly popular in high schools since May. This app provides a way for teens to connect with friends away from the pressures of school, work, or even parents. It gives them that “third place” to unwind. It gives them an opportunity to be social, but is it really social?
“Despite the positive impact of emerging communication technologies on scientific research, our results provide striking evidence for the role of physical proximity as a predictor of the impact of collaborations.” – Harvard Medical School
Relationships are better built in person. More and more research is showing that time spent near your friends is more important even than time spent talking with them. While video chatting allows for group conversation, it doesn’t allow for the mannerism cues and continuous turn taking. (Bejing Normal University) To say that using a video chat to build relationships is good for our kids, or at least better than nothing, is not really accurate.
The Houseparty app uses your contact list to automatically log you in with up to eight friends who are online when you open the app. You don’t set up or invite people to conversations, it just puts you in a room to hangout with whoever is on. So using your contacts list ensures that you’re hopefully only chatting with friends. You may, however, have the contacts of some folks you aren’t interested in chatting with. There is a “stranger danger” feature that will alert the user if someone joins the chat that isn’t on their contact list. This is a pretty good feature.
I think this app is trying to get a lot right. While there can always be concern with video chatting, simply because anything created with good intentions can easily be used to do something inappropriate. Similar to the AfterSchool app, I would say Houseparty is something that parents should be aware of and talk to their kids about but I wouldn’t advise uninstalling on sight, necessarily. Whether or not your are ok with your children building their relationships through online communication is up to you.
If you have been heeding my advice you have done your best to keep your kids away from Snapchat. Instagram has launched yet another update and this one includes dissapearing pictures and videos in their direct messenger and the beginnings of their soon to be released live video feature. What this means is, if your kids have Instagram, they now basically have Snapchat. (more…)
Social media is a fact of life. In fact, our kids are often more social on social media than they are in the “real world.” I hesitate to say the real world because for your kids, their life online is their real life as well. Use these tips to help you be as diligent as you can while protecting your kids on their social media accounts.
1. Do Use the Same Social Media Your Kids Use
Even if your only have this account to be able to see what your kids are doing it’s a good idea. I call this a “stalker account.” That sounds more harsh than it is. It’s just a good idea to be able to see what they are posting. This method is less intrusive than taking their devices and looking at their accounts. If your teen argues with you and says they don’t want you to follow them (or unfollows you themselves) you can always ban their use of that social media site and I recommend that you do.
2. Do Follow Your Children on Social Media (more…)
I’m often asked what my “diagnosis” is for a family’s internet safety. I usually have them fill out a one page form and it tells me what I need to know to give them the basic steps I would take to help them protect their family. Sometimes, though, parents want to make the most minimal changes possible. Maybe it’s a budget/financial thing, maybe it’s just time, or it’s a lack of true motivation. I don’t know. What I do know is that there are two major tools that no family should be without when it comes to being protected online.
The first tool is a filter.
A filter blocks content that you don’t want accessible on your device. These filters are usually specific to a browser and so you should keep track of any new browsers that may have been installed on a device you are trying to protect. I recommend that you use filter that “reads web content in real time.” This means that instead of just looking at the address or ip of a site, they are actually using the content to decide if the page should be blocked or not. This is critical because of a workaround called proxies, that can bypass filters that only look at the web address or ip.
When choosing a filter you get what you pay for. The more controls and user friendly the UI (user interface) the more it’s going to cost you. You usually pay for the filters annually or monthly. There are also filters that come built into hardware that you may use. Some routers are now including basic filters in their “back-end.” Or something like circle will allow you to set up controls on any device using your wifi.
“Giving your kids a smartphone without a filter is like putting them in an adult book store and saying, ‘Be good!’ It’s a bad idea.” -Joe White
The second tool is accountability software.
Imagine a high security building. They have the laser grids on the doors and windows and an alarm system that will go off if someone tries to break in. Security guards patrol outside to keep an eye out for any possible intruders. With all of that work to keep anything unwanted from getting in you’d think they’d be satisfied, right? No, they’re not. You will always see security cameras in high security buildings. This is because things can slip through. This is why I always recommend accountability software.
Accountability software will identify any unwanted online content and send a report to the person set to be notified. Some even send text messages immediately when something was accessed. This is the security camera inside your online safety net. It’s another layer of protection that will allow you to see when something you aren’t expecting slips through your safeguards. Conversations with your kids are more important than any software or hardware you can use and accountability software allows you to know exactly what conversations you need to have.
Not either-or, both-and.
The answer to “what is the ONE thing I should do to protect my family online” is to do TWO things. Install accountability software and use the filters built into your operating system. If you have had some problems with catching someone viewing things they shouldn’t you may be concerned they would go looking for it again. In this case I recommend purchasing and downloading a more feature filled filter software.
These steps are really just the beginning. Obviously staying informed on what is happening in your kids’ digital world is critically important which is why an annual membership to this site would be a major help. Click to go register.
People are waiting in line for hours to get a pair of Snapchat Spectacles. These sunglasses allow you to take 10 second videos of whatever you’re seeing. It’s a first person view of your world that you can then share on your Snapchat Stories to allow your friends to take part in every second of your life. Meaningful or not.
Spectacles are only available from a vending machine that is currently touring the country causing a big stir. Having set up for a day each in Venice Beach and Big Sur California and today in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the exclusivity of these sunglasses is already evident in the fact that the $129 social media accessory is going for a few thousand dollars on EBay already. These things are especially popular with the teen and young adult crowd and all I have to say is “Oh boy. Get ready for even more useless oversharing.”
How do Spectacles Work? (more…)
We recently wrote about WhatsApp and explained a few things parents should know about the messaging app. Now, a new updated requires we update our information as well. This new update brings video calls to the app that is owned by Facebook.
Video Chat is Awesome!
WhatsApp is largely considered safe because of its authentication and encryption settings but with the addition of video calls the app enters a completely new realm. Video calling is very convenient and a great way to stay connected to family and friends that you aren’t always near. Apps like Skype and Facetime have been mainstays in allowing you to use WiFi to talk to someone while looking at their face. Something that is priceless for someone as easily distracted from a phone call as I am. The concern with this new feature, though, is how it could be used by those who have ill intentions.
What Parents Should Know
I’ll say it like I do in so many articles, you have to be monitoring what your children do in any messenger app. With new features like GIFs and video calling being added all the time we are just seeing more and more opportunities for our kids to get into trouble. Will all kids use these features for evil? Of course not, but it’s too likely that someone they know (or worse, they don’t know) will be using it to cause harm.
I don’t necessarily recommend not allowing your teenager to use WhatsApp. I do, however, recommend using something (even if it’s just your own eyes) to monitor what conversations your kids are having. If you aren’t comfortable with video chatting being available to your teen then you need to disable it or ask them to use a different app for messaging.
We did a whole write-up on some key terms related to messaging. These terms and the rest of the terms in our Mobile Device Vocabulary series are too important to miss. I recommend you subscribe to this site so you can check it out. Only $60 per year will get you full access to this site. Sign up now.
Fewer and fewer teens are on Facebook these days, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They’ve left the social media platform because of their parents and grandparents being on there so often, that is a bad thing. When Facebook launched their messenger app they made it possible to never use Facebook itself but still have conversations in messenger. Soon it may be possible to have those conversations in a public chat room. That, could be the new problem.
Messenging is something that has commonly caused concern for the involved mom or dad. It’s easy to have conversations that parents never hear about and to get into discussions with people you don’t even truly know. The age old rule “don’t talk to strangers” doesn’t seem to apply online these days even though it really should. Facebook will soon be offering “Rooms,” in which users can discuss different topics and be connected by their interests. Rooms will be shared with a link and can be posted publicly to allow anyone to join the conversation.
These rooms are different than group chats in that they allow more people than just Facebook friends and family to join. Literally anyone can join your “Room” if they have the link. Users will, however, have the option to set rooms to private and require administrator approval for a user to join. Facebook Messenger Rooms is currently being tested in Austrailia and Canada but look for it to be availible in the US before too long.
What Should Parent’s Know?
Obviously your children need to understand the dangers of chatting in public rooms on any social media service. Facebook messenger is one of the most common and popular so be sure to include it in your discussion. Also, pay attention to your child’s social media accounts. If you see them posting links that you aren’t familiar with or posting that they are opening up a public chat room, click through to that link and see what is going in in the “Room.” Again, you won’t be seeing this feature in messenger in the United States just yet, but be aware that other apps like WhatsApp have this feature already and you should be keeping track of what your children are doing in those apps.
We have written extensively about mobile messaging and different terms you should know in our mobile device vocabulary series which is available with a subscription. Go sign up today and learn all you can to be ready for this coming update.
We have to protect our children from inappropriate content online but we also have to protect ourselves. Thankfully most developers give us tools to keep us from unexpected content and unwanted charges. We learned today what happens if a developer neglects those protections. They pay.
Amazon is in the news today for a case that began in 2011. Thousand of parents were shocked to find that their kids had racked up in-app purchases that they hadn’t known about. Amazon made $86 million dollars on in-app purchases but it’s estimated that 42 percent of that was from unapproved purchases made by kids in the app store. The Federal Trade Commission said that Amazon’s system allowed for unlimited charges on apps and the courts sided with them in April of 2016, saying their methods of informing parents of purchases was “not sufficient.”
The software store on Kindle simply didn’t have a password protection setting for their in-app purchases. This is what got them in to trouble. Children could log in to make purchases on these apps and there was nothing built in to stop them. Shortly after complaints started coming in, Amazon updated software to include a password and had already refunded money but the FTC said that wasn’t enough.
The courts decided today that Amazon had to pay back the money to parents directly. In order to receive re-payments parents must submit individual claims. They did say that Amazon must notify parents affected of the availability of the refunds.
My Advice
I always recommend setting your in-app purchase password and keeping that password a secret. You can’t ever tell when some freemium game is going to convince your child that they need that cool hat for their character or that if they buy that ten thousand pack of rubies they can build their village faster. We have to use our common sense because sometimes our children don’t.