WELCOME to Raising Connecting Kids the podcast that answers your questions about the connected world your kids are growing up in.
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QUESTION OF THE WEEK
I get multiple questions a week. Sometimes through email or FB messages and sometimes face to face at an event or meeting. In this podcast, I’ll be answering the most common questions I’ve had and even, your questions. Email me at BecauseFamily@gmail.com to get your question read and answered on the Podcast.
Question: How do Social Media Sites censor content?
User-Generated Content
Generally accepted standards.
Nudity/Sexual Content
Extreme Violence
Hate Speech
Harmful content disguised as kid content.
Keep in Mind:
Location of the company.
Lawsuits and bad PR
More than one reviewer.
Usually flagged by users.
Protecting viewers from dangerous false facts, visual content, and messages is not censorship. It is the company’s right to protect their image and intellectual property.
These companies can make decisions based on their own guidelines. They are not government entities. The CAN censor content if they want as long as they have put reasons in their terms and agreements.
CONCLUSION
Thank you again for listening to Raising Connected Kids, the podcast that answers your questions about the connected world your kids are growing up in. Subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and anywhere else you listen to podcasts. Like/Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and InstagramShare the show with your friends and leave a review on your favorite podcast app to help spread the word. Remember to visit BecauseFamily.org/partnership to partner with us as we protect children and teenagers by bridging the technology gap between them and their parents.
TikTok is the biggest app right now in every app store with over 2billion downloads. They have added some parental controls. This video and podcast episode outline some things you should know while setting these controls up. Below is a link to a great step by step for using these parental controls.
The parental controls on TikTok allow you to lock privacy settings, keeping strangers from making friend requests, sending messages, and even seeing videos. You must use your child’s account to give yourself permission to set up parental controls. This means you must have a TikTok account yourself if you’re going to use the parental control settings. Previously your child’s account could be set to private, but they could change the settings per video and post publically regardless of your settings.
Do TikTok Parental Controls Allow you to be Hands Off?
No parental control is a substitute for parental involvement in their child’s online experience. Be sure they know they can come to you to discuss things that make them feel uncomfortable or go against your rules. Should your kids use TikTok? If they are under 13 no. If they are under 16, maybe yes but with parental controls. If they are over 16, then you should be discussing their digital health with them and trusting them to make quality decisions as they grow into adults.
Thanks for checking out this article. You can visit BecauseFamily.org/partnership to support our work to protect children and teenagers by bridging the technology gap between them and their parents. You can donate, support our affiliates, or just share our ministry with your friends. Thank You.
I was contacted this week by a parent who was shocked to find that adults had been chatting with her young son in Disney Heroes, Battle Mode, an app rated 9+ in the Apple App store. She sent me screen shots in which players were asking her son if he was a boy or girl. They asked how old he was and where he was from. One of them even confessed, “I am not a kid. LOL.” Obviously, when his mother found these messages she was extremely concerned, she removed access to that game and set some limits for their whole family for a while. Then, just a few hours later I received a link from a concerned parent about an app in which people are posing as employees of the game company and asking children to send pictures “without a shirt on” to prove their age. She asked if this was true and my response was that yes, these things are happening every single day. Here’s why these predators can gain such easy access to our kids.
Disney Heroes Battle Mode
After hearing about the trouble with Disney Heroes Battle Mode I downloaded the app to see what it was all about. After a short cenimatic and then playing through the tutorial you get a notification that the app has purchases built-in and that you shouldn’t be under 13 (app is rated 9+ in the app store. if you want to play. I simply tapped continue and moved right past the warning. No age verification, no password, no face id, nothing. Once in the app I started looking through the settings. I did find controls for the chat feature, including a password protected on/off toggle for chat access. This was good to see, especially since the issue I was researching had to do with chatting.
The problem is that apps like Disney Heroes give parents a false sense of security. The app is made by Disney, the company’s name on anything makes many parents think that the product is made with their kids’ health in mind. This could not be further from the truth. Disney is out for exactly what every other major corporation is out for, their financial bottom line. We have to remember that data is big money and apps that are made for kids collect just as much data as any other app. Data that is personalized to a user is worth more money which means app developers need users to make an account to sort and identify their data more easily. The easiest way to convince app users to create an account is by making it the only way they can chat with friends in the game.
What Parents Should Know
I recommend taking a look at the game your kids play on their pones or tablets. Just because the game features cartoon characters doesn’t mean there aren’t adults playing the game. If the game has a social feature like chat or friend-mode you can be sure that your kids will be contacted by strangers. Look in the settings, preferences, or options of the games to see if there is a way to turn off chat mode. If they don’t allow you to disable social features, I would uninstall the game and encourage your child to find a different game to play.
We must remember that the companies that make these games offer them for free because their money comes from in-app purchases and advertising. In order to make money they have to keep people playing the games as long as possible. Research shows that there is no better way to keep someone in your app than social engagement. People will be sure to keep coming back if they have friends in the game to play with or against. This means that they will continue to put these social features in their games and while app stores may rate these games as safe for younger children, my rule is that if it has a social element it should be for kids older than 13. Even then you should ensure that you child understands what they should do if they are approached online by a stranger and encourage them to tell you if someone makes them uncomfortable in any social engagement online. We can do our best to protect them from this software but nothing is more affective in preventing these dangerous encounters than teaching them how to recognize them and end the conversations immediately.
Facebook Messenger kids was created to give children a safe place to communicate through text, stickers, video, and gifs with friends that are pre-approved by their parents or guardians. This week, however, the kids’ messenger app has had to send notifications to thousands of parents about their children having access to strangers in the app.
What happened is that a technical error allowed kids to create a group message with friends who would then invite their own friends who, while approved for them, may not have been approved by the parents of the first child. Confusing? Ya, this is possibly why the flaw was even possible in the first place. Facebook says they have alerted parents whose children may have had this type of interaction and that they’ve disabled any chats that were created, using this flaw. The story isn’t over, though, as some are calling for the FTC to look in to the error since it may have resulted in a COPPA violation.
The moral of this story centers around trust. It is important that, while we may trust our children, we can’t always trust who our kids are in contact with. We definitely shouldn’t blindly trust the companies who make the hardware and software that our children are using. When our kids use an app like Messenger Kids, the whole point of the app is that it gives parents control. When the control is hindered, even by a “technical error,” that is a severe violation. We can, however, take actions to protect our kids from dangerous effects that could come from these errors.
I recommend having a copy of the messenger kids app on your phone logged in to your child’s account. My wife and I are each logged in to one of our kids’ messenger kids apps and can see when they get messages and what the messages are about. We are notified when they receive a message and can look to see who it is from and even read it. I have, a time or two, jumped into the app to tell a friend to stop messaging since my son was past his allowed time for social media that day. I received a “yes sir,” and there were no more messages until the next day. We also use BARK to monitor their messages and alert us of any dangerous or inappropriate content.
Parents are gate keepers. Our job is to be sure our kids are growing up with guidance through every area of life. If they aren’t being taught how to manage social media and internet use safely then they will struggle to make healthy decisions when they are older. Messenger Kids is a good tool to help your kid learn the right way to use a messenger but it won’t work if you are uninvolved, pretending that the creators of the app only have your kid’s best interest in mind. The truth is that they want to provide you a service to make a profit. We cannot overlook that. It is our responsibility, and ours alone, to teach our kids how to be safe online. We should take it seriously. We should hold companies accountably when they have errors that put our kids at risk but ultimately we should be the ones making sure our children are protected on every app, site, and software they use.
Researchers in Montreal have spent the last four years studying nearly 4,000 students and their screen time. The study was looking for links between self reported depression symptoms and uses of different kinds of screen time. The types of screen time studied were social media, television, video games, and computer use. The study used annual surveys to sample students in the Greater Montreal area in 2013-2018 and the results were analyzed in December of 2018.
The study found a substantial depressive symptom increased for every hour spent on social media, computer use, and even for television. Adolescents reported more cases of comparison to others because of their use of social media, leading to depressive symptoms. The study concluded that “Both screen time modes (social media and television) should be taken into account when developing preventative measures (for depression) and when advising parents.”
There has been a lot of research concerning screen time and the health of our children. This study is interesting because they chose to separate the types of screen time in order to try and identify if one type or another has a greater impact on the mental health of the children studied. There are a few things that stood out to me as I read this study. First, video games didn’t seem to be a determining factor for depression. While video games can cause other issues, it seems that the direct comparison or contact with others available through social media and even some of the stories on television create the atmosphere for decreased self satisfaction and can lead to depressive symptoms. While many kids between 7th and 11th grade can falsely report feeling “depressed” just because of their stage of life, this study found a pretty significant correlation between the subjects’ symptoms and their screen time activity.
Secondly, their approach of separating types of screen time should become a new standard for this type of research. Researchers are finding that the amount of time your kids spend on a screen can have varying affects based on what it is that they are doing. This study supports that approach by proving that some categories of screen time affect depressive symptoms in different ways. Finally, the final sentence of the conclusion supports the idea that screen time should be taken into account when developing preventative measures and when advising parents. Psychologists, doctors, and counselors should be considering, not just the amount of time kids spend on their devices, but exactly what they are doing. Parents should be considering those same things.
Your son may play a ton of video games and you’re worried about anger or lack of social skills, those worries could be valid and more research is needed to identify if video gaming is, indeed, a factor. Social Media use is proving to be a determining factor in the mental health of young teens as they age. Our kids are exposed to so many ideas and so many different environments at such an early age that we, as parents have to be the gatekeeper for what enters their minds. We have to help them guard their hearts and properly interpret their emotions. If kids are seeking help from other kids, they aren’t getting the mental health advice that they need. We parents should provide a safe space for our kids’ to express how they feel. We should then be willing to make arrangements to get the professional help they need if necessary. Parents can’t ignore our children’s feelings, we have to take them seriously and make every effort to support them in exploring their own mental health.
It is a long and arduous story, the tale of Apple shutting down parental control apps. Some say it was done to protect Apple’s investment in their own Screen Time app while others believe Apple truly has the wellbeing of their customers at heart. It is hard to look at this story from any one angle alone without making a blanket statement about the opposing side. This is why I have taken a look at all sides and wish to help you, parents, understand what is happening in this strange new war.
Last fall, after announcing the release of iOS 12 which feature their new controls app “Screen Time,” Apple began to deny certain parental control apps access to the app store. Apparently, citing the fact that Apple doesn’t allow apps to use any method to block other apps (a pretty important feature in a parental control software.) Eleven of the top seventeen parental control app developers such as Mobicip, OurPact (the top Parental Control app in the app store,) and Quistudo were all in communications with Apple for months about their apps being removed and what it would take to get reinstated. Apple’s comments seem to have been centered mostly around the removal of apps and the use of something called MDM or Mobile Device Management. They stand on the fact that MDM allows access to information that should remain private. Developers of the Parental Control apps are saying that Apple said nothing about privacy in any of their communication about getting their apps reinstated. This is causing a bit of concern for developers, media, and parents alike.
Even more information about MDM in the video and podcast.
Recently, the New York Times released an article about Apple’s removal of the parental control apps from the app store alluding to the possibility that the move was to eliminate competition for Apple’s Screen Time or even to keep people from using apps that cause them to use the iPhones less often. We are obviously getting a lot of they said/they said back and forth with this story and there is more to come (law suits and such) but here is what I think it all means for parents.
What Parents Should Know
Above all it is important for parents to understand that there is no such thing as the perfect parental control app. The free ones are likely selling your data and the paid apps are usually using some sort of loophole to even work properly. Apple uses a pretty closed approach to their app store, only allowing a very small “sandbox” for developers to work in. This causes many of the parental apps in question to fall short of complete and total control. The MDM allowed for a bit more of that control but without that access, many of these apps are simply useless. I do believe that parental control apps should be held responsible for what they do with the data that they collect. Apple takes data security and privacy very seriously. This is what they have said is at the core of their stance against some of these apps. Apple must protect the privacy of their users, it is a major part of their platform and what sets them apart from their competitors.
What does this mean for us as parents who want to protect our kids? First of all we have to remain vigilant to keep our kids safe online. Use some sort of network level parental controls. Whether you use Circle or something else that is built in to your router, it is a lot easier to set up filters that block your entire network than to set it up on each device. Also, you can just learn and use the built in parental controls that Apple and Android have created. Screen Time isn’t perfect (as I said, none are) but it is pretty good. Use the resources you have as well as a good, healthy environment of conversation and security to keep your kids using tech properly and discussing it with you regularly.
Until Apple makes it easier for software developers to access user behavior, any built in parental control options will be bettor for iPhone and iPad users. Screen Time is currently a bit limited but is is a lot better than nothing and will work for most families. The best part is that the stance Apple has taken for privacy will also apply to users who have set up Screen Time. Any account that you have set up for your child will be treated as a child’s account and Apple’s terms state that their data will be treated as such also. Maybe your favorite Parental Control app is a part of this whole drama. If so, hang in there and set up something you can use because this whole story isn’t over. I’ll keep you updated as more happens.
For even more, listen to the podcast episode below:
Today marks the first day of Screen Free Week 2019. We have become so used to doing everything on our phones, TVs, tablets, and computers that it can be difficult to think of things to do when we unplug. It can especially be difficult for our kids who spend so much time on screens every day. Here are some ideas to help you start thinking of how you’ll spend your time this Screen Free Week. I’m sure that whichever activity you chose to do you’ll be blown away at how good it was for you to be screen free, even if only for a little while.
1. Read Books
No, I mean a physical book. With paper and glue and pages and everything. Many of us are spoiled to our audio books and ebooks. We carry around a library of hundreds of volumes and read whichever we want, whenever we want. This Screen Free Week, why not forget about the books in your digital library and take a look at some of the adventures you have on your actual bookshelf. You’ll be amazed at how cathartic it can be to just turn a real page instead of swiping to the next set of pixels that make up the story.
2. Share a Screen Free Meal
Having a meal with friends and family can be a great way to reconnect and charge up that need for social interaction. Food brings people together. Unfortunately, our phones can often get in the way of this beneficial time. Celebrate Screen Free Week by choosing to keep your phones away from the table during meals together. Look each other in the eye, have conversations, and share the time with your friends and family.
3. Play Board Games
You can pull out the old classics like Monopoly and Life or maybe sit down to a newer hit like Settlers of Cataan, Forbidden Island, or Dice Forge. Whatever board games you choose, you and your family and friends can enjoy screen free entertainment. Personally, I look forward to Dungeons and Dragons every week when I sit down with some guy friends, eat snacks, roll dice, and tell a story together. A story filled with imagination, humor, and adventure. Don’t underestimate the power of time around a table playing a game.
4. Play Outside
Trade in Screen Time for some Green Time! Get outside and get moving. Play a sport, run a race, skip, hop, jump, run, anything you can think of outside will be so good for you. Your body will thank you for the exercise and your brain will thank you for the release.
5. Go for a Hike
Screen Free Week is a wonderful time to get out and experience the beauty nature has to offer. You’re bound to have a hiking trail just a short drive from your home. Maybe it is just through a park in the city but it will be great to slow down, walk through nature, and stop and look at what the beauty all around you. Bend down and look at those leaves or that insect working away. Feed some ducks or squirrels. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful life is beyond the six inch space in front of your eyes that your phone often tends to occupy.
6. Act Out Your Own Play
We love to be entertained. Netflix, Youtube, Hulu, and Amazon Prime make their money off of our desire to escape reality by enjoying a movie or series. Take this week without screens to create your own entertainment. Play an improve game or charades to get your imagination moving. Get some friends together and act out some of your favorite scenes from the movies and shows that you love. How fun will it be to play the characters you love and laugh with your friends as you channel that inner child.
7. Play a Musical Instrument
How long has it been since you’ve picked up that guitar in the corner of your room? How long has that violin been sitting in its case, untouched? Without the distractions of y0ur screens this week you can take some time to play that instrument you’ve been neglecting. Maybe you aren’t a musician. Why not try something new? Borrow an instrument from a friend or just bang out a beat on your knees with some pencils. Make some music this Screen Free Week!
8. Write in a Journal
Social Media is often the place where we share our deepest feelings. Many of us look for validation by posting what we think about this thing or that. Since you’re avoiding screens more this week, start practicing a new train of thought. When you have an opinion you think would make a good Tweet or status update, write it down in a journal instead. Write down your deepest thoughts on all of the topics you usually post about publicly. You may find that journaling gives you the same cathartic feeling without the drama of other people’s comments and debate.
9. Do an Art Project
Our screens train us to consume consume consume. Why not take this break from consuming so much media as a chance to do some creating. I have a weekly goal to create more than I consume. I ask myself every day what I’ve created that I can be proud of. Often my creations are videos, blog posts, and podcasts but I can look back and say I created something instead of just consuming all day long. Give yourself a chance this week to be more creative. Make something awesome. Do some art. Maybe sidewalk chalk, or a craft project, perhaps you can knit or crochet. Do something creative that you can look back on at the end of the week and actually see the product of your time. It is so very rewarding.
10. Plant a Garden
Again, Screen Free Week is a great time to get outside. The spring weather is just waiting to be enjoyed. This early in the spring, it is also a great time to plant a garden. Go get some flowers and plants and set yourself up a nice patch of nature. Your kids will love helping and digging around in the dirt and your whole family will love seeing the plants come to life as the spring and summer progress.
Beyond Screen Free Week
There are lots of things you can do without your screen. If you are like me, Screen Free Week is a great reminder to adjust my priorities. Hopefully this Screen Free Week, you can remember the importance of time in which you intentionally unplug and spend time with those you love. Use tools like Screen Time to monitor that amount of time you spend using your devices. It is amazing what good just being aware of your screen time can do for you. Have a happy happy Screen Free Week.
For 101 more Screen Free Week ideas visit ScreenFree.org!
Telegram is an end to end encrypted messenger that touts speed, privacy, and security. They have featured private messaging and self destructing messages for a while but their new feature takes privacy to a new level. You can now delete a message you’ve sent from your account and the account you sent it to no matter how long ago it was sent. Telegram is, again, standing up for privacy and users are buying in. Millions have flocked to Telegram after Facebook’s data leak news from the past several months. It looks like Telegram is doubling down on Privacy as their claim to fame. They’ve also added the ability remove your information from a message when the message is forwarded to other users. Some accessibility and ease of use features have also been aded.
What Parents Should Know
Security and privacy are often overlooked when we allow our kids to use internet connected devices. Privacy is becoming a major concern for experts and activists of family tech safety. Messengers that allow data to be collected and used for advertising shouldn’t be used by children and even teenagers due to the risks of such data being released or revealed without the messenger app developer’s consent. When an app features privacy as it’s distinquishing feature, you have to ask who the data is being kept private from. Obviously, we want data to be kept from third party companies who would use that data to advertise. Sometimes data is even kept private from the company that developed the messenger app that you are using. Telegram has a “secret messages” setting that must be set to keep your information encrypted from end to end. (End to end encryption means not only the company can see or collect what is being sent.)
Anytime the ability to delete messages you’ve sent is added, I see red flags. While I think privacy is critical, there is also a risk of kids thinking they are safe from inappropriate or incriminating photos or messages being saved and used for nefarious purposes. It only takes a half a second to screen shot a message or image on your screen. Most phones allow you to record your screen to a video very easily. This means that you are non always anonymous online. If you are sending messages to someone, thinking you have complete privacy, you are trusting that the person you’re sending the messages to has your privacy in mind as well. Telegram is an easy way for predators, cyberbullies, and those interested in sexting, to send and receive messages that do their damage and then are removed as evidence.
I have spoken to parents who have taken their kids to the police with complaints about people trying to groom them online but the police had no evidence because the messages had all been deleted. This is why a messenger makes the FamilyTechBlog uninstall list as soon as they add disappearing messages. It isn’t safe for your kids to chat with a feeling of anonymity or for them to chat with people who can send what they want and make the message go away after it’s been viewed. Telegram is rated 17+ and I fully agree with this rating. Private messengers that allow you to chat with anyone, anywhere shouldn’t be used by children and young teenagers. Especially when the messages can be removed at will.
On March 19th, Google announced their latest product: Stadia. The promise of Stadia is to allow people to play AAA games (Assassin’s Creed, Fortnite, etc.) without having to buy a dedicated gaming console or PC. How does Google plan to deliver on this promise? With Chrome and YouTube.
Google has stated that Stadia is “the future of gaming.” I agree. Young adults are used to subscribing to services and streaming their entertainment and Stadia is the next step. Kids already watch hours of gaming content on YouTube every day, why not add the ability to play those games too?
What We Know Right Now
We don’t know a lot about Stadia right now but what we do know is pretty impressive.
A high-speed Internet connection will be required.
Up to 4K HDR at 60fps.
Plasy using multiple devices: PCs, laptops, tablets, and smartphones will be supported.
No need to download games or wait for updates.
You’ll be able to use any USB controller connected to you computer.
There will be a dedicated wireless controller.
Stadia will be available this year.
What We Don’t Know Right Now
Despite all the excitement around this announcement, there are many things we don’t know.
The price of the service.
The price of the controller.
Games available at launch.
Supported mobile devices at launch.
Release date.
Minimum Internet connection speed.
Podcast Episode:
What Parents Need to Know
Your kids are going to want this, especially if they watch gameplay videos on YouTube. Being able to instantly play a game that one of their favorite streamers is playing and try that special move is very appealing.
If the price is right, this could be an affordable alternative to purchasing a gaming console. Being able to play hundreds of games for $50-$60 a month is more affordable than buying a $600 console and a game or two every month.
The Stadia controller has a streaming button which means your kids could be online and streaming their game and voice instantly. In fact, they could even join in a game with another person. Parents should be aware of this feature and take measures to block it if they don’t want their kids to live-stream.
Google has been improving their products with better parental controls every year. Parents should familiarize themselves with those parental controls and enable any restrictions they deem necessary. You may want to consider adding time limits, enabling ratings limits, and disabling some of the streaming and cooperative features. Of course, this
