Blog

I end every workshop and nearly every video and podcast telling parents to talk to their kids about digital citizenship, screen time balance, and internet safety. I often point them to videos or articles I have made or written that will help them with these topics. Cornell University, in partnership with Common Sense Media, have put together a resource for schools that claims to be perfect to help you, the parent, talk to your kids about these critical topics.

“Social Media Test Drive” is a curriculum created to help teachers and parents guide their kids through healthy internet use and digital citizenship. The lesson plans for younger children were good. They featured fun videos with cartoon characters singing about what to do if you see a bully and why you shouldn’t talk to strangers online. Some of the curriculum for older kids, however, gave me some red flags.

Minimizing Research

The videos that I watched that were created for older kids and teenagers did a good job of presenting research that shows how dangerous too much social media or screen time can be. Unfortunately, most of the videos then downplayed the research by comparing it to anecdotal evidence that is gained simply from the way they know kids feel about using their devices and social media. It felt as if the video was pandering to young people, encouraging them that there aren’t many dangers online as long as they know how to use the internet properly.

“Find Your Tribe”

One of the things that is increasingly dangerous about social media and internet usage is exactly the same thing that many will say is a great benefit. The ability for kids (or anyone for that matter) to go online and find a group of people who think exactly like they do and believe exactly the same things they do. This seems like it would be a good thing. In fact, one of the Common Sense Media training videos called it “Finding your tribe.” The problem comes when you surround yourself with so many like minded people that you are no longer encouraged or even able to think critically about the things you see, hear, and experience. We should be hearing voices that contradict each other sometimes so that we can grow in our understanding of the world. The internet can be good for that. We can learn about new ideas, new places, and new types of people. The problem is that when we dive into social media by clicking like or double tapping every post of every person who agrees with us on everything we think, we are telling the algorithms to feed us more and more of the same thing. This is tricking us (not just our children or teens) into thinking that everyone who is right thinks exactly like we do. This is a dangerous attitude and if “your tribe” means people who won’t challenge you when you’re wrong. I hope my kids never find theirs.

Relevance to the Point of Irrelevance

Unfortunately these videos remind me of the after school specials we all made fun of when we were kids. The young guy standing in front of motion graphics and reading a script about how to use the internet wisely. It’s been done before. It was done with cigarettes, it was done with drinking and driving, now it’s being done with the internet. It all reminds me of the end credits scene for Spiderman Homecoming where Captain America shows up give a speech on patience. As I mentioned above, it seems to be pandering and I can imagine it being laughed off by most kids in the age group it is intended for. Even with the obsolescence of the “after school special concept” these videos attempt to be cool, especially by downplaying the dangers of phone usage and encouraging kids to just “be careful.” They try so hard not to say anything that will make students shut down that they barely say anything helpful at all.

It Falls to the Parents

Ultimately these issues are the responsibility of us as the parents of our children. Only we know what it will take to get them to understand the truth about their time online. We are the only ones that can set the standards of internet use in our families. We are the ones who can set the limits we feel are best and do it in a way that helps our children feel that they are partners with us as we work towards developing healthy tech habits together as a family.

We should use the resources at our disposal, accountability software, filters, message monitoring, and built in parental control settings can all go a long way to help us keep our kids safe and teach them how to protect themselves. There are truly dangerous things on the internet. These things shouldn’t be glorified or blown out of proportion but they shouldn’t be ignored or downplayed either. We, as the gatekeepers of our homes, must decide what level of discretion we will use in protecting our children. We can rely on our schools or other companies or organizations to do it for us.

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS