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One of the most common complaints I hear from parents is that they never see the posts they want to see on their social media timelines. They will scroll through their Facebook or Instagram feed looking for an interesting post, something from family, or even their own children and instead be bombarded with articles about politics or silly memes or chain letter type posts that want you to click like and share for some reason. If your feed is crowded with this sort of chatter it makes enjoying the purpose of social media very difficult. If you’re like me, you use your social media feeds as a way to keep up with friends and family, to promote the work that you do, and to be entertained and laugh at silly internet things. Well, the algorithms designed by those who build these social media platforms are created to give you the best experience. The problem is that it’s all based on your behavior on the site or in the app. If your behavior contributes to the clutter then you’re just going to get more clutter. Here are some tips to help you sort out the mess that may be your social media feeds.

Remember who is on what social media service.

There are different audiences on different social media sites. The split is based on a number of factors. Age, career, and gender are the major contributors. Twitter, for instance is more popular for young professionals looking to network and build a community of like minded business people. Instagram is a whole lot of young people and young parents who got tired of the clutter in Facebook and Twitter and just enjoy sharing photos. Facebook has a very large middle aged demographic and has seen a major decrease in young users over the past several years. Snapchat is full of youngsters but is growing rapidly in the 18-25 demographic. The reasons that people choose the platform that they choose can seem pretty obvious and it’s important to keep those reasons in mind as you use social media. You aren’t going to care too much about the photos of a ton of young parents and teens if you’re a middle aged parent who’s adult kids who have no children of their own yet so you may not open an Instagram account. As soon as your 22 year old daughter and son-in-law have a baby, though, and post photos of her online. Instagram is where you’ll want to be.

Don’t like and join every FB page or group you’re invited to.

Facebook Pages are created for advertising and promotion. They all link to a business, blog, or something of that nature. Because of this they’ll post nonstop and any time you react to one of their posts in any way you’re telling Facebook to show you more of what they post. So, if you’re a follow of a Facebook page, say the BecauseFamily Page, for instance, and you want to see more of the great resources and articles that they share, you’ll want to interact with their posts more. If you follow a page like Silly Kittens Playing Piano (I think I made that up but it’s probably out there somewhere) that posts fifty pictures a day that you don’t really even find that funny, you’re going to see more of those photos than you see most other things. Especially if you have ever clicked the like button on any of them.

You see, the algorithm on Facebook gives you posts from the pages and groups you’re apart of based on how often you react to those posts. When you click the like button on every kitten picture you see, you’ll eventually see almost nothing but cat pictures on your Facebook feed. Now, if that’s what you want then awesome, but if you’re trying to keep tabs on what your kids are posting online, those cats are going to get in the way. You should probably click like a lot less. That’s my next tip.

Leave the Like Button Alone!

The like button on Facebook or the heart icon on Instagram and Twitter is basically a little “show me more” button. This is you telling the algorithm that you enjoy that kind of content and want to keep seeing it. The problem with this is we treat the Like button as passive aggressive head nod toward the content we’re seeing. You have to understand, it’s more than a head nod. It’s a subscription. You may be seeing tons of posts that you think are stupid or posts from people you barely even know. If you are, it’s because you’ve been clicking like as if it’s the same thing as a casual grin across the room. I’m sorry to say it but it’s your own fault.

A couple of years ago I swore off of the the like button. I decided that if a post isn’t worth a comment, I wouldn’t react at all. After a couple months of that behavior, my Facebook feed started to become enjoyable. I see the geeky stuff that I like more than I see anything else, I don’t see much annoying click bait content anymore, and my friends and family are front and center and they don’t even have to tag me in their posts. I’ll often show my wife something hilarious that has come across my Facebook feed and she’ll ask me why my feed is so awesome. I don’t click like on ANYTHING I will tell her. Now, I will add that likes on comments within a post are an exception. I’ll often click like on a reply to one of my comments. That doesn’t add to the clutter since it’s on a post I have already commented on, thus deeming it worthy of being filed with the algorithm as something I’d like to see more of.

Lastly on this topic, it’s important to remember that nobody gets blessed, goes to heaven, or receives better medical care because of a Facebook like. That’s called click bait and it only exists to help the page that shared it get more traffic and sell more advertising. 

Only open posts from people you want to hear more from.

Sometimes we see a post that peaks our interest and before we know it we’ve dived head first down a rabbit hole. When you click on a post on Facebook or Twitter, the algorithm remembers it and feeds you more posts by that poster. That means the rabbit hole doesn’t end when you’ve closed the article. It will continue on your feed from now on. The most important thing when deciding what links to click on on social media is who is posting it. If you don’t want to see more from that person or poster then you shouldn’t click the link. Also, it’s important to consider the original poster, not just the person who shared it. This info can help you populate your feed with only people who’s word you trust and respect and fewer of the random and nonsensical articles that seem to be so prevalent in our social media feeds these days.

Use the “Follow,” “Notifications,” or “See First” options. 

A great way to make sure you don’t miss a post by someone you care about is to tell Facebook you’d like to “See if First.” You can also tell Instagram or Twitter to notify you when someone you want to follow posts something. You can watch this video to see how to set up notifications on most of your accounts.

Take Control

Social Media algorithms are often treated like an enemy that we struggle to fight against. Every time Twitter or Instagram or Facebook changes the way they order your news feed petitions start showing up to put it back the way it was. The truth, though, is that these algorithms are tools. It’s a form of artificial intelligence that was designed to give you more of what it thinks you want. It decides what you want based on how you act. This means that if you don’t like what you’re seeing on your timelines, you need to change what you’re doing on your social media accounts. I’ll ignore the obvious life application here and just recommend that you apply some of the above advice to how you handle your online experience. Get back to me in six months and you can thank me for how much more “well behaved” your timeline has been recently.