Social media is a fact of life. In fact, our kids are often more social on social media than they are in the “real world.” I hesitate to say the real world because for your kids, their life online is their real life as well. Use these tips to help you be as diligent as you can while protecting your kids on their social media accounts.
1. Do Use the Same Social Media Your Kids Use
Even if your only have this account to be able to see what your kids are doing it’s a good idea. I call this a “stalker account.” That sounds more harsh than it is. It’s just a good idea to be able to see what they are posting. This method is less intrusive than taking their devices and looking at their accounts. If your teen argues with you and says they don’t want you to follow them (or unfollows you themselves) you can always ban their use of that social media site and I recommend that you do.
2. Do Follow Your Children on Social Media
Having an account is only the beginning, you need to unapologetically follow your kids on the same sites they are on. If your child is a facebook user then you should be on facebook with them and use their “see first” feature to make sure you aren’t missing anything your kids post about.
How To Use “See First”
- Go to your kid’s profile page.
- Hover over the tab that says “Following”
- Click the “See First Feature in the drop-down.
3. Do Not Embarrass Your Kids on Social Media
It’s good to have those important conversations with your kids. Just don’t do it online. I have seen many parents post embarrassing or disciplinary posts to or about their kids and it’s a terrible idea. First of all, you shouldn’t be posting anything that causes or heightens conflict at all, secondly, that kind of post or comment directed at your teenager will guarantee that you’ve taken yourself out of their options for people they can talk to about important topics.
Keep posts about your kids positive. Post the fun picture of your family enjoying the game last week. Or the prom photo saying how proud you are of them. Keep the post about how they just don’t seem to listen to you off of the internet. Social media posts about conflict are passive aggressive and not helpful. If you need to bring up that topic with your kids, you need to bring it up in person. This applies to your adult children as well.
4. Do Ban Social Media You Aren’t Comfortable With
This one is simple. If you’ve learned what a certain social media app is capable of or all about and it makes you uncomfortable you should have your kids install it and tell them they aren’t allowed to use it. It sounds crazy, I know, but you’re the parent and you’ve been given the power to do that. Take control of their online lives.
This also applies if you’re lack of knowledge about a certain app or social media service makes you uncomfortable. Simply tell your child that you don’t want them to use it because you’re not entirely sure what it does. After they give you a vague explanation, tell them that wasn’t good enough and you will do some research and get back to them. Then actually do the research and DO get back with them with an answer on that specific app or service.
5. Do Know Your Kids’ Passwords
This one is critical. There are things that simply following your kids on social media can’t tell you. You’ll have to log in to their accounts to see the private message conversations they’re having or to see what kinds of videos or videos they’re tagging as private. I recommend you have your kids give you their passwords for all social media sites and you log in to their accounts regularly (twice a month at least) to see what they have been up to. This mom stopped a shooting by looking at her son’s facebook and instagram account.
Social media can be a risk for your kids. Especially if they’re younger. Be sure to be informed on what apps do what and follow these five steps. This advice should help you avoid the minefield that social media can so often present.
